“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” – Lily Tomlin
Yep. Lily Tomlin. Wise gal, we think. And to celebrate National Orgasm Day, we at Trystology are here with oodles of reasons why #OYO, owning your orgasm, can support a fuller, healthier, and happier life for you and the ones you love! Or maybe just like. Or… make those less than favorable slightly more tolerable. You decide. Read on, the satire has only just begun.
We’ve discussed it before, but for those new to the news, orgasms are great! There’s just no doubt about it. They produce a unique cocktail in the body that relieves stress, supports the immune system, and most importantly, encourages a positive self-image.
Thing is, your orgasm belongs to YOU!
No one else feels it, experiences it, or has control of it. Certainly, partners can, and hopefully do, relish in your experience, but the nerves are yours, and we encourage everyone to have the nerve to explore themselves without shame, guilt, or fear. That said, sometimes this is easier said than done. Shame, guilt, and fear are monster emotions that can take over any occasion, private time included. Perhaps you’ve been there, and maybe you haven’t, but a busy brain can be a real buzz kill. There’s more too. The brain is EVERYONE’S primary sex organ. So, what can we do when the brain goes… a little off the rails?
The easy answer? “A little self-love goes a long way!”
O-kay, but shut up already!
We get it! “A little self-love goes a long way, everyone!” We hear it, constantly. Everywhere. This sentiment has even fingered its way into commercials via advertising these days. But we’re not selling paper towels here, people. We’re talking about that sweet, sweet O. That horizonal hokie-pokie. That no-no in the uh-oh. That… okay, I’m embellishing. But has our popularized advertisement of ‘self-love’ made it a farce? A sell? Some utopian fantasy that moves consumerism forward?!
Take a deep breath. Not exactly… lets go back to basics for a sex… I mean sec.
They key to loving yourself is knowing who the hell you are. And this doesn’t happen overnight. This happens throughout life, folks, which as every adult knows, involves suffering, not perfection. It just does. If you disagree, you’re probably young, or an ostrich. Maybe a unicorn, I’m not sure. Either way, come see me. Let’s talk, because all of us, sometimes, have a real shit day. News flash, we’re allowed to! And whereas orgasms aren’t solving world peace, (and imagining some politicians in the act absolutely horrifies most), they can relieve headaches, keep us healthier and more tolerable, intimately connect us to our partners, and remind us that some shit storms really are followed by a rainbow.
Imagine this…
Tomorrow morning, you wake up to your dream vehicle just waiting outside for a test drive. Who drives it first? Your neighbor?! I sincerely hope not. I hope you drive it, and enjoy every curve of the road, beam of the sun, and wind in your hair. Well, our bodies are just vehicle, and one more miraculous than any piece of steel out there. They’re exquisite. And before giving anyone a ride in or on these skin suits, we should know how they handle, what they like, what they need, and how to keep them humming along these backroads of life.
Here’s a hint.
If life is the road, communication is the fuel. But you can’t communicate what you don’t know to be true, especially when it comes to your body and bits.
For vagina owners, where’s your g-spot, and how do you like it stimulated. Not sure? Take that baby for a spin! It may be a longer road-trip than you expect, so pack up the lube and take it away. Some navigational advice for those who don’t have theirs mapped out, which is completely normal for women of any age, it’s one to three inches in the vagina, up towards the belly button. Steady come here motions work well here, so hydrate for the ride. Clitoral stimulation can help here too, but how does yours like to be touched? Here are some of our favorite exploratory tools to pack for the journey.
Deep in penis possession? How does your body achieve its strongest climax? If you’re not sure, have you found your prostate? If it’s flat out not your thing, that’s fine, but inviting Mr. Prostate out to play could really change your game. Just like the g-spot, it’s about three inches into the anus, and reaching it solo first could be just the secret you want to spill. How about your perineum. Know about it? It’s the patch of skin behind your testicles, and if anal play is a strict no, another road to prostate engagement. Rumbly vibes, pressure, or simple licking can do the trick! Below are the tools we find essential for the trunk.
In a world turned upside down, we think self-exploration, self-knowledge, and knowing your orgasm is time well spent. Truly. At the end of the day, your body is your vehicle to manifesting whatever your heart desires in this world. So today, strap on the do not disturb sign. We at Trystology won’t judge, and it can just be our little secret.
Hey there, Trystology here in celebration of National Non-Binary People’s Day!
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National what?!
Yeah! Happy National Non-Binary People’s Day! Words matter, and our use of them has vastly fluctuated throughout history. We at Trystology believe it’s time our language around sexuality follows suit! Words are powerful communication tools, and their meanings/our understandings of them shape our realities. For example, how do you define gender? How about manhood, or womanhood? Can you point to them? And what happens when your identification with gender expands past our already fragile societal norms and vocabulary?
Also, why is this blog post possibly our most important this year? I’m going to cut out of my normal writer’s voice for a moment to answer this first. People are dying, folks. All over the world millions have lost their lives to Covid-19, and even amid all of that loss and sadness we’re seeing more non-binary and trans lives lost due to ignorance than ever. It’s only July, and 2021 already accounts for more trans murders than all of 2019, and most are Black and Latina women. Even more lives are lost to suicide, and astoundingly more are ostracized from political, cultural, even medical representation.
This article is unapologetically about gender, and the language we use to describe it. Historically, we are more than ‘man’ or ‘woman’, or ‘male’ or ‘female.’ The word gender inherently surpasses society’s understanding of it, and we are here to discuss why the world, and the orgasm, extend past the binary.
To our non-binary, trans, non-gendered, genderqueer, intersex community and more, we thank you, we welcome you, and we hope this article does you proud!
Binary, and Beyond!
It’s no surprise that as a bipedal species with two outward facing eyes, feet, hands, and ears that we would settle and find comfort with mere duality. However, the idea that there are only two neatly boxed up genders is a common and dangerous misconception. Always has been. Simply put, its false. For instance, Intersex folks have always existed and have been both ostracized and exalted in high societies and religious practices.
Non-binary is a term for those who don’t identify completely with “man” or “woman”, or “male” or “female.” Many don’t find home within these terms at all. Instead, some feel blends of both, some feel something altogether different, while intersex people are born with anatomical or reproductive systems outside of the strict male or female classification. Other terms for non-binary include genderqueer, agender, trans, non-gendered, and more. While none of these terms mean the same to everyone, they all speak to an experience of gender beyond male or female.
And even though non-binary is a new term, this experience has written historical relevance pre-dating the Middle Ages!
Practicing Proper Pronouns
Okay, so we know there’s more than male or female. We know. So how can we honor the experience of our non-binary family in society, culture, and the legislature governing both? Although we have a long way to go, we can simply start with the proper use of pronouns! Many who identify outside the already false binary prefer the use of they/them/their when being referred to in society. But how do we know when to use these pronouns? And what if we make mistakes?
In every article we’ve written about sexuality, Trystology has emphasized the importance of communication. The same applies here! Non-binary people are just people, and have been in our lives forever whether we’ve known it or not. In order to know how someone identifies, all we have to do is ask! Sure, this is a new conversation, but we are living within a time of revolution, transition, and change. Our courage now to respect one another and to empathize with others’ experiences can start with, “Hi friend, which pronouns do you prefer?” We then make the effort to respectfully adhere to the work an individual has put into knowing themselves. Will we make mistakes? Undoubtedly. But asking about pronouns is a way to grant visibility to those beyond the binary, and representation matters. Language has changed before, it’s changing again, and we will survive.
Questions Everyone Should Avoid…
Whereas open discussions aid society’s understanding of the non-binary experience, some questions are flat out rude, such as, “Have you… transitioned?” or “Do you still have a penis/vagina?” C N Lester, in Trans Like Me, speaks on this in a way that cuts right to the heart of the issue. Whether each of us knows someone openly non-binary or not, chances are good we all know a mom. When women give birth, we ask kind questions. “How are you and the baby?” or simply, “Congratulations!” The process of birth is intimate and unlike any other. It can be messy, painful, and complex. A mother may choose to describe her experience of labor to family member or friend, but for a stranger to ask how severely someone’s vagina tore giving birth would certainly be unacceptable and offensive… period. The same is true of asking about anyone’s genitalia. Not. Your. Business! And it’s certainly not anyone’s obligation to answer!
My. Family.
To pop out of my writer’s voice once more, I want to thank a specific member of my family for aiding in my understanding of this issue. Out of respect for them, they will remain nameless. However, in order to write this article properly, I asked them for a personal interview. I was honored when they agreed and was astounded at how much I too had to learn. Here are some points they shared with me.
They were identified as male at birth yet began dressing in women’s clothing from the laundry hamper in secret at age four. Pediatricians now estimate that children understand their gender and gender expression by exactly this age. For the cisgender folks reading, (those who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth), I ask you to imagine the mental toll of learning to hide your true gender from family and society so young. As a teacher, this breaks my heart. I’m happy to say that in their sixties, my family member has finally found support, a community, and safety within it. Home, you might say. And to this member of my family, I love you, I am proud of you, and I thank you for everything you have taught me.
At the end of my interview with them, I asked, “What, if any, advice would you give to the younger you?”
“I would tell them to go ahead and do what makes them happy.” They went on to say, “I’ve spent my entire life being what other people wanted me to be, you know? A real man, or whatever the hell that is. I took care of my kids financially, I had the nice house, you know. I’ve been there for my family when they were sick and stuff. But now it’s my turn. I finally feel entitled to make myself happy.”
I then asked, “What have you learned by having the support of your peers?”
Their emphatic response? “Be honest. I’m a firm believer that it may be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier as you go.”
I could hear in their voice that honesty meant much more than being open to others. It meant, first and foremost, gaining the comfortability and confidence to be honest with themselves.
Now for the Goods!
So finally… can non-binary people have sex? YES!! Non-binary, trans, intersex people and more have orgasms, and the biological make-up to do so. Just as most men and women navigate their orgasms differently, the same can be true for those who identify as non-binary. Here, family, are some of our favorite toys to rock, flaunt, and enjoy your beautiful selves!
The Toy Chest
Strap ons!
For the transmasculine community who haven’t undergone phalloplasty, strap-ons offer a great way to penetrate partners, and have been around for hundreds, yes hundreds, of years. Here at Trystology we offer a wide array from natural to spacey to honor every desired size, look, and feel. We also carry underwear style harnesses fit for a natural look, and perfect for packing! Strap-ons can suit transfeminine people as well. Estrogen therapy can take a toll on someone’s ability to maintain an erection and strapping up can provide a way to have sex while avoiding dysphoria or any contact with the genitals. For those who have undergone vaginoplasty, strap-ons can still be used the same way cisgender women use them today. No matter how you top, here’s a list of our top faves.
Vibrators, specifically vibrating wands, are awesome for everyone. The reason? They offer a larger area of vibration that suits all kinds of genitalia. Wand vibrators do not require an erection and are strong enough to be used through clothing. Smaller bullet vibes can also be used for muffing, a sexual act stimulating the inguinal canals of transfeminine women.
Cock-rings, whether those that vibrate or those that don’t, can be used by both the transmasculine and transfeminine. For those undergoing estrogen therapy, the use of cock-rings at the base of the penis, or around the penis and testicles, can aid in maintaining an erection for a longer period of time. For those post-phalloplasty, vibrating cock rings can be used to heighten sensation to the back base of the penis.
For our post vaginoplasty fam, dilators are a must, and it’s recommended to use them twice daily for up to fifteen minutes. This exercise will maintain surgical depth while healing from surgery, and can ensure the success of your procedure. Here’s our a list of medical grade, top of line dilators for you.
Without these amazing authors, this article would not have been possible. If you’re looking to understand the non-binary gender, a loved one, or yourself, here are the good reads we recommend.
I encourage you, reader, to look up the definition of gender. Its origin is sexless, and simply means “membership of a word or a grammatical form in such a subclass.” In laymen’s terms, the word gender helps us define parts of the whole. We are all parts of the whole. Black, Latin, Asian, White, Indigenous, L, G, B, T, Q, I, A, 2, and PLUS! Collectively we give breath, voice, and life to the rainbow of Earth. At least within this human experience, we can consciously choose to do so. The most courageous and important journey any of us undertake is the one toward self-understanding, and to that we at Trystology encourage all genders to flaunt proudly! As we brave making mistakes navigating this expanding world and vocabulary, let’s own those mistakes together. And if you’ve got a problem with that, we kindly ask you to… go have an orgasm.
Light up the grills and grab your shorts! Summer’s here, the heat is on, and Trystology’s hot monthly topic is independence. Not just any kind of independence, mind you, but sexual independence. That’s right, we at Trystology are here to celebrate YOUR journey toward sexual independence… but how can we support something so uniquely and individually defined? Sexuality itself has infinite expressions, as does independence, and whatever pallet of hues you choose is your choice, and yours alone. What may be freeing to me might cage you, so what the hell does it mean to own your orgasm, and how can you do so confidently? When we say sexual independence, are we strictly talking about masturbation, or something bigger?
Maybe the real question is how much do you like being you?
Now, if that last question was simple for you to answer, I’m jealous and please come to the store as soon as you possibly can to spark this topic, teach a class, or just be our local guru. If you’re struggling to define what sexual independence means to you, or just how to own who you are at your core, join the club! Sexuality is a reflection of our deepest selves – the self without words or definition – and can come with a LOT of baggage in the form of shame and guilt. Luckily there’s something our sexuality is not, and that’s stagnant. Fear not, singles, I’m talking to you too. The human experience is such that we forget, like everything and everyone else around us, we are centered within a process of our own. We age, we learn, we change and grow, all while also existing within a society which only recently began to value self-care, not as an indulgence but rather as a necessity. And let’s face it, we have a long way to go. The fact is our sexuality plays a major role in overall health and wellbeing, so is it necessity, indulgence, or a little of both?
Self-Care as an Act of Rebellion!
As previously mentioned, the idea of self-care is new to the Western world. Most of us were programmed to believe that taking care of our needs last made us noble, hardworking, trustworthy, and good. Why then does breaking the rules feel so, I don’t know, great?! Side story – as a kid, I used to love when my Mom made me clean my room, but not because I actually enjoyed picking up. No, I liked the alone time. I would turn my ceiling fan on high, and throw my stuffed animals into it, only to burst into hysterical laughter when my poor, furry friends would smack the wall and thud to the floor. My mom worked from home, and needless to say, hated it. One day, she snuck up the stairs and caught me in the act of what could have only looked like “stuffie” execution. She doubled over with laughter and scared me half to death. Sure, I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do, but I was getting to know myself, my humor, and my individuality. Amidst her laughter, she explained how she took conference calls from home, and making all that noise was disruptive to her day. Bottom line, I could only throw the stuffed toys into the fan, (good call, Mom), and I couldn’t do so if she was on the phone. My fun wasn’t over, but her boundaries needed to be respected.
The B-Word…
You might say our sexuality is much more complex than a stuffed animal hitting a wall at maximum speed, and I would agree. But owning aspects of who we are, especially our sexuality, involves a little exploration, laughter, making mistakes and learning important lessons, all which help us to establish and define these reeeeeeally important things called boundaries. Readers, we can’t stress this enough. The word boundary is not a bad word. Very similar to my mother’s response, a boundary can liberate and bring smiles to more people than just ourselves. They allow us to operate with others, not for or against them in a way that excludes ourselves. They help us to establish who we are by knowing who we are not. Truth be told, owning our boundaries can pave the road to independence of any kind, and can be loving, funny, even/especially sexy.
In order to provide liberty and justice for all of our nether-bits, it’s important to remember we all share the same major sex organ – the brain. An orgasm is like any other bodily reflex. It’s an involuntary response to pleasure governed by genitals, yes, but only with permission from the mind. That’s why boundaries are so important. They support a feeling of safety, and setting them doesn’t have to suck! A sexy conversation is always a wonderful start to any intimate encounter! What do you like? What makes you feel good, and how do you like it done? If these questions are difficult to answer, explore your own unknown! Here’s a list of our favorite books and toys for him, her, or them.
Whatever you choose, knowing the choice is yours should empower and inspire the infinite zigs and zags that exist throughout this thing called life. Independence isn’t the same for all of us, neither is sexuality, but setting boundaries and knowing yourself is the way to accomplishing either on your terms, no one else’s. Here at Trystology, we wish you independence, divine sexuality, and the permission to own your life, boundaries, and as always, your orgasm! You deserve it, and your road awaits.
June is Pride month, and here at Trystology we support our LGBTQIA+ community in celebration of everyone’s right to sexually express themselves without fear. And although Pride events cater to those who feel their sexuality may fall outside of the mainstream, this movement’s voice has inspired a global and united front to overcome prejudice by promoting self-acceptance and discovery. Ya know, light itself is comprised of a rainbow spectrum, and Pride month serves as a reminder to us all to embrace the fullness of our spectral, sexual selves! Thankfully, Trystology has you covered with this months LGBTQIA+ tips, high end toys, and tricks to proudly celebrate all month long. Strap up, folks, and here we go!
Let’s start with the history. The very first Pride Parade was held in 1970 to commemorate the Stonewall Uprising of June 28th, 1969, where N.Y.C.’s West Village gay and lesbian community bravely rose together to protest and fight against ignorance and police brutality. The Stonewall bar catered to New York’s marginalized queer community, a community vehemently outcast right before and after the New York City World’s Fair in 1964. When police raided the Stonewall, they were met with a clear message – the LGBT community didn’t want to be cast aside anymore. It’s with this sentiment that June has become a month of acceptance and celebration of individual uniqueness– biologically, racially, politically, emotionally, and yes… sexually!
You may be seeking clarification on the difference between LGBT and LGBTQIA+, and if so, here we go. The LGBT acronym stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, but LGBTQIA+ includes those who identify as queer, intersex, asexual and anything in-between. Queer is generally used as a broader term for those who identify as non-straight, intersex refers to those whose sex is less defined due to genetic or biological differences, while asexuals seek an intimacy with life void of sex. Other terms often used include gender-fluid, poly, and “monogomish.” The fact is, no matter your sexual preference, regular intimacy supports a healthy immune system by naturally regulating cortisol levels to manage stress. As far as Trystology’s concerned, we all deserve the sacred pleasure our bodies have in store for us! So, from boas or candles for proud LGBT parents, to top of line intimate toys for any encounter, Trystology is proud to provide merchandise unique to however intimacy is defined by you!
And now… THE LIST!
P-Spot or G-Spot?!
Let’s talk about it! Across the spectrum, men and women have intricate biology and pleasure centers. The prostate, or P-spot, is a small muscular gland that produces seminal fluid, and when stimulated anally or behind the testicles, can significantly increase the orgasms of cisgender men. The Grafenberg spot, or G-Spot, is located inside a woman’s vaginal wall toward the belly button, and as an extension of the clitoral network, swells when aroused. Stimulating these areas on partners can be exciting, ooh so fun, and beneficial to our overall health! Added bonus –Trystology carries tools and toys which double as G-Spot and P-Spot vibrators! So how and where do we begin?
Well, if prostate engagement is the goal, have you ever gotten lost only to find a back road home? To stimulate the prostate, we must journey to the magical, anal realm. The prostate is located inside the body, between the anus and testicles. For those new to the game, we recommend starting low and slow.
And if G-Spot engagement is the goal, think up and in. The G-Spot is engaged by a “come here” motion, and yes, is part of the clitoral network. Believe it or not, the clitoris is much more than the pea-sized button where the inner labia meet. The clitoris actually divides into two separate roots of nerves, usually about four inches long, coming together at the inner wall of the vagina. G-Spot engagement can cause female ejaculation for cisgender women while promoting vaginal orgasms.
This list of high end tools highlights vibration for anal or vaginal insertion to feel the buzz , inside-out!
A vibrating g-spot or prostate stimulator that moves back and forth to beckon you toward the absolute pinnacle of prostate pleasure, and thanks to its innovative WaveMotion™ technology, LOKI Wave™ is the ultimate pleasure product, curling in a beckoning, ‘come-hither’ motion for the most satisfying internal massage. The 10 satisfying vibrating settings from two perfectly placed motors for simultaneous internal and external massage make it the perfect life-changing orgasmic experience.
In a world-first design, INA Wave is inspired by the caress of a lover’s fingers. It surges with a natural “come-hither” motion to massage your G-Spot or P-Spot while powerful clitoral/perineum stimulation creates a blended climax. Lose yourself in waves of uncontrollable pleasure.
Arc is made for exploring. Its bulb has a pleasant squish, with a beaked ridge for targeted vibes on the vulva or g-spot. Warm-up externally, then dive in! Arc’s handle has the perfect length and curve to give you just the right angles, without straining the hand or wrist. Enjoy different motions, like rocking, rotating, steady nestling, and sliding in and out.
The prostate orgasm is the biggest, most intense orgasm a man can experience, and the remote-controlled HUGO is perfectly designed to offer entirely new avenues of sexual satisfaction. With 8 settings and exclusive SenseMotion technology, HUGO is all set to become the play-partner you’ve been waiting for.
With rumbling vibrations that target both the prostate and the perineum, Vector leads the way to sensations that go beyond anything experienced before. Designed for comfort with an adjustable head and flexible base, Vector hits all the right spots. Vector is also 100% waterproof, and thanks to WeVibe’s Free Connect app, can be managed from anywhere in the world.
In 2012 Aneros introduced the Helix Syn™. Featuring the perfect combination of responsiveness and focused stimulation paired with the comfort and elegance of silicone, the Helix Syn™ went on to become the most popular hands-free male G spot massager in the world. Today we proudly present the Helix Syn™ Trident, the synthesis of our newest Trident series innovations with our most luxuriant velvet touch silicone yet. The Helix Syn™ Trident powerfully amplifies encounters with a partner, and takes solo exploration to the level of multi-orgasmic ecstasy.
Mini butt plug with an easy insertion tip. Base flares out for an easy to remove or keep in place feature. Offers 15 different vibration speeds for any mood or preference!
Strap-up for Strap-ons!
Strap-ons and dildos can be the perfect addition to any couples play, and Trystology provides a spectral, high end selection! For partners seeking penetration without the penis, we have an array of comfortable harnesses, clitoris engaging bumpers, and dildos ranging from realistic to spacey. Whatever your size preference we guarantee to have what you need!
Calexotics made this harness for powerful play. The straps are easy and adjustable, and beautifully compliment this crotchless design. The ring diameter measures 2”, perfect for most dildos. This vegan leather product won’t disappoint!
The Bellaª couture lingerie harness creates a sophisticated and dramatic silhouette, with delicate lace, a cascading bow, and a peek of rear cleavage. It wicks away moisture and has two internal mini-vibe pockets that securely fit toys 1.25 to 2.25 inches in diameter. Sturdy and flexible, Bellaª will not lose its shape even with frequent use.
The Deuceª is a harness specifically designed for men. It assists in prolonging foreplay and maintaining an erection, and features a belt and adjustable leg straps. Its elastic O-ring expands and contracts to fit a variety of dildos and can also accommodate a mini vibe for additional pleasure. Included is a lightweight storage pouch with two pockets.
Shagger is Banana Pant’s newest dildo base stimulation cover! Inspired by the ocean Bumpher wants everyone to ride these waves of pleasure! Uniquely contoured, the soft succulent tips bend and flow with them, touching and titillating with every move. Cover the base with the Shagger for a ride of connection, sensation and stimulation. Without a dildo they can use as a manual stimulator alone or with a partner.
Long, smooth, and sleek. The Mistress dildo has multiple uses from vaginal to anal pleasure. Silicone dildo is made of premium silicone. Mistress vibe comes with a bullet vibrator that can be inserted in the base for extra stimulation. One of the most popular models by Vixen Creations!
Though created for lesbians and guys who are female to male trans gendered, about 80% are purchased by heterosexual couples. Everyone is enjoying these Patented pleasure toys! Men with erectile dysfunction problems are using FeelDoe as prosthetics. Gay men have discovered that FeelDoe are ideally practical for solo play. One way or another, this fabulous invention is pleasing everyone worldwide!
Wands for the Wizard in You
Wands are long known ah-mazing tools meant for all types of sexual play. Trystology carries a spectrum of wands for her, for him, and for sharing. Some of our wands, like the Wand by WeVibe, are 100% waterproof, while others plug in with multiple attachments. If you’re seeking power, check out this list of favorites!
The most advanced (and powerful) cordless massager ever with playful attachments, responsive technologies and an ergonomic design that take it way beyond basics. Seamless intensity control can take you from 0 to 100 (and anywhere in between) with one touch. The one-touch control acts like a dimmer switch, keeping you in the moment without distraction. Wand’s ergonomic design, playful attachments and the We-Connect app make it the perfect fit for couples or you can keep it all to yourself for an epic night in.
Simple and Powerful. The Man Wand Xtreme is a stimulator kit designed for men and couples. Man Wand – Xtreme has two flexible flaps on the massagers head that can hold a penis of most any size while the textured silicone optimizes the vibrations and pleasurable stimulation.
The powerful vibrations of Man Wand can be enjoyed with or without an erection and users can customize their pleasure, taking full advantage of 3 powerful speeds and 5 scintillating patterns of vibration.
The Doxy is the world’s most powerful plug-in wand massager. Offering powerful vibrations that penetrate deep into the body, it’s extraordinarily effective when used as a body massager, or for intimate intentions. While many find themselves satisfied with the lower settings, the Doxy can reach up to 9,000 RPM: it’s the perfect tool for those who want the option to play hard and fast.
Doxy is the only wand massager with a controlled pulse setting. Taking the rumbly vibrations from low, to high and back again and at variable speed settings, it really adds a whole new dimension to your experience.
Please Be a Tease!
Along with our vast collection of power tools, Trystology carries many tools meant to tease and increase sensation during love-making. These tools can increase communication with a partner or loved one while ensuring sexy communication and exploration.
The We-Vibe Touch is a powerful clitoral vibe with 8 vibration modes created from silky-soft medical grade silicone. Body-safe and hypoallergenic, the Touch is free from phthalates, latex, and BPA. It is 100 percent waterproof, making it versatile and easy to clean with soap and water, and lasts for up to 2 hours on a single charge. Use only with water-based lubricants.
Ergonomically designed to target the prostate, the NJoy Pfun Plug delivers firm, controlled massage. Whether manually controlled or activated with the user’s own muscles in ‘hands-off’ mode, the Pfun Plug prods the P-spot with precision.
Thank You!
To our followers and clients, thank you for your courage to deeply love, appreciate and own the pleasure of your unique body. Without the LGBTQIA+ community, we couldn’t understand the vastness of pleasure available to us all. Everyone deserves to explore the intimacy inherent to them, and Trystology is here to support you along you journey, wherever it may lead.
Gentlemen of all ages, start your engines! June is Men’s Health Month, and Trystology is here to inform, inspire and support the men in our lives to confidently own their orgasms, for health’s sake! Yep, you read it correctly. It’s true that a sexy man is a healthy man, and in order to maintain optimal health, both mentally and physically, the men we love need to unload! So whether you’re a penis owner, admirer, or both, Trystology has the high end toys and researched tips to ride toward good health in style. Giddy-up, Cowboy!
Now, let’s get right into it. The past few years haven’t been awesome for the overall image of men. The #MeToo movement was certainly necessary, and gave a voice to silenced women worldwide, but does a man’s sexuality inherently make him a threat? Absolutely not! Good men exist all over the world, and like all of us, deserve the throws of their O’s, with or without a partner. In fact, it’s science! Men who orgasm frequently significantly lower their chances of developing prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction, or ED. Do we have your attention now? Read on, dude!
We’ll start by demystifying manhood…
We know female genitalia is beautifully cloaked in complexity and mystery, but to say men are simple in comparison is misguided and misinformed. And even though the penis is naturally designed for awe inspiring pleasure, a man’s nether region is much more than just his shaft! Major players of the male reproductive system include his penis, testicles, prostate, and mind, but the possibilities for providing, even increasing pleasure to these areas is infinite, and important to a man’s overall wellbeing.
The scary fact is prostate cancer has risen to the second most common form of cancer found in the US. Nearly one out of eleven men will develop prostate cancer throughout their lives, and this rise in illness led Harvard to study men of all ages consistently for 18 years. Throughout the study, doctors monitored how often their patients were getting it on and found men who ejaculated an average of 21 times per month lowered their risk of cancer by 33%. We encourage you to read that sentence again… 33%! Erectile dysfunction is even more common, lending some validity to the old adage, “use it or lose it.” That’s nothing to turn your head and cough at, especially when more pleasure could keep you safe.
Owning Anal Play Could Keep the Doctor Away!
As previously mentioned, referring to the male make-up as simple is just false. Seminal fluid is produced in the prostate, which is located inside cisgender men between the anus and the testicles. It gently wraps around the urethra, contracts to ejaculate semen from the body upon climax, and oooh, by the way, when stimulated can increase the intensity of your man’s O by 80%! So how do we invite prostate play to the party?
There are two ways to stimulate the prostate during lovemaking – internally and externally. Option number one causes many hetero men to clench, so let’s take a collective deep breath to discuss anal. Ah yes, men all over the world receive massive pleasure from anal stimulation, no matter how they sexually identify! The anus is loaded with nerve endings sensitive to touch, tongues, and vibration. Just inside are two sphincters, followed by the rectum. It’s here, just a few inches in, where we can pleasure the prostate with a well lubed finger or toy, coupled by a gentle “come here,” motion. Here at Trystology, we recognize this action is comfortable for some while not for others, so if you’re still warming up to the idea, engaging the perineum may sound like a more enticing route. The perineum is the nerve-ending haven of skin between the anus and testicles, and when stimulated can provide extraordinary pleasure, whether tongued or tickled. Engaging the perineum adds the cherry on top to any hand job, blow job, or intimate encounter. What to use, you ask? Here’s our list of favorites:
If longevity in lovemaking or maintaining an erection is your current primary focus, Trystology has tools and tips for that too! Facts are facts, and both erectile dysfunction and impotence are common, common, common, so it’s important to remember that the mind is everyone’s primary sex organ. When any of us are stressed, depressed, or just frazzled, arousal can seem impossible! Our first recommendation is always don’t give up! Some studies have shown that when men self-pleasure, they often follow a tried and true routine. Believe it or not, that same old routine can be the cause of desensitization or just plain old boredom. Switch it up!! Also, if you’re coupled up, talk to your partner. Vulnerability alone can lead to new, exciting pathways to pleasure, but we can’t get there if we don’t talk about it. Whether solo or buddied up, here are some of Trystology’s favorites to keep you long, strong, and satisfied.
Congrats, men, you made it to the end! We know some topics may have felt scary or uncomfortable to read, but we at Trystology encourage all men, and their lovers, to take their health seriously! The benefits of regular climaxing aren’t limited to the body, as they include the mind as well. Orgasms provide a life enhancing elixir of oxytocin to manage stress, dopamine to encourage joy, prolactin for better sleep, and vasopressin to relieve pain. To the men in our lives, we love you, and want your life to match how incredible we think you are. You’re worth your pleasure, and we honor the healthy, sexy, you.
To Mom’s everywhere, Trystology would like to thank you for all that you do! You wash away our tears, our fears, and deserve the amazing care you give shined back at you this Mother’s Day. Well, shh… we have a secret. Mother’s Day isn’t the only holiday celebrated here. Since 1995, May has been dubbed Masturbation Month, and Trystology has every potion and product to help you feel praised all month long.
First, the facts.
With everything happening in our world, could orgasms possibly be that important? Well… YES! Along with promoting better sleep and mitigating pain, regular climaxing can support a healthy immune system. When our bodies achieve orgasm, dopamine and oxytocin flood the body to control our stress hormone, cortisol. Cortisol is an important bodily hormone when the amount stays just right, but when it surges with stress we can find ourselves at risk of high blood sugar and a loss of bone density. Oh May, oh my, let’s all make more time for our big O!
After much deliberation, here’s a list of this month’s Trystology favorites!:
Foria Awaken CBD Arousal Oil:
Foria’s Awaken CBD Oil is topical, and specially designed for women and people with vulvas. If you’re looking for a lubricant to enhance pleasure while increasing sensitivity, Foria’s blend of broad-spectrum CBD and organic botanicals won’t disappoint. This product is great solo or with a partner, and contains about 30 uses per bottle.
For a night in, perhaps a sensual massage, our Kiki De Montparnasse massage candles will make you melt. Light the candle to let the aroma fill the room, then enjoy the convenient spout on the side to pour this coconut and soybean blend onto the skin for a warm and sweet massage.
Trystology Tip: Not all lubes should be used with toys. Many lubricants are silicone based, and whereas they provide the motion of the ocean, they can end up damaging our toys over time. For toys, partnered or solo, we recommend Sutil’s Rich Body Glide. This lubricant is water based and has a rich texture. Win, win!
This is the discrete, gorgeous, and classy vibrator for that “O” on the go! This sleek, elegant design can be worn as a necklace; the perfect reminder to own your orgasm no matter where you are. This toy is “whisper” quiet and comes in gold, silver, and rose gold.
What can we say… this toy rocks! This revolutionary toy sports Pleasure Air Technology, providing multiple settings for multiple, rolling orgasms. The Womanizer imitates oral pleasure, and ladies… it’s awesome!
From everyone at Trystology, may this May be memorable. May we perhaps see ourselves as worth the pleasure we all deserve!
Before talking about sexual hibernation, Roylin discusses An Orgasm A Day. This time about what to do when you or your partner is tired, but you still want to have that orgasm!
And, interestingly enough, the word heard at the store this week had to do with one of our recent episodes about being vanilla! It’s so fun to have our customers reflect our philosophy back to us with beaming happiness!
This episode focuses on sexual hibernation. What is hibernation? As Roylin describes it, it’s a state where we put our sexual health on hold, and sit in that comfortable place, where we don’t address our sexual needs, or desires. Hibernation is not always something we do consciously. Sometimes it just happens, because our partner is away. Because we don’t have a partner. Perhaps because life is too busy or stressful or overwhelming to even remember that we have a sexual life. It’s not a bad thing to be in hibernation, but it is something we should be aware of, and something we can consciously choose to get out of. And it has nothing to do with age, as one can be in hibernation in their 20’s just as well s they could be in their sixties.
Roylin discusses how we feel in sexual hibernation, and some of the tools we can use to get out of hibernation. With our brain being our biggest sex organ, we need to remember that we can choose to get out of sexual hibernation. But if that’s not enough, we have tools to help us do so.
The products of the day are meant to assist in getting us out of sexual hibernation. Whether we use a stimulating tool, like a stimulating balm, warming lubricant, or vibrating tool, there are a number of ways that we can wake up the body and work our way out of hibernation, whether we are with a partner, or not.
When I first heard about the female viagra pill I thought, what!?!? This isn’t something that’s necessary! What are they thinking… then I realized the new drug is touted to fight low libido in women: Addyi, as it is known is the “female Viagra.” It became available in October, and I’m pleased to know that no one has asked me about it. In fact, when I told a customer I was writing about this, they said, thanks for telling me it was available! I had no idea!
Here’s the thing, there’s this perception throughout society that women aren’t interested in sex.From the “don’t get married if you still want sex” to the “I have a headache” perpetuated in movies and TV shows, society portrays women as these unwilling, not interested participants in the sexual encounter.So it was no surprise to me when a pharmaceutical company announced that it was promoting a “Female Viagra” pill.What a great concept!Make women interested in sex… get them in the mood, because clearly they aren’t, and we need meds to get them there.
Here’s the thing.It’s a farce.Women as a species are in the mood.It’s just that our brain is our biggest sex organ, and in this day and age women have a lot of responsibilities… Work, family, household chores, sometimes juggling this all on their own.Just because she doesn’t “feel like it” doesn’t mean that she’s not capable of being interested.And it’s certainly no reason to think that she won’t be interested once you’re married!I’ve been observing my clients for the past 7 years and the thing is, by the time we’re 40, we think that we know our bodies.We think, “well, I’m tired, and not in the mood, so there must be something wrong with me.”This couldn’t be farther from the truth.We may “think” we know our bodies, but our bodies are so complex, it takes some time and attention to fully understand what they are capable of.We just need to be willing to explore and understand.
Let’s start with the little known fact that most women are like crock pots.Yes, crock pots. You know, that device we put on our counter to simmer our foods… women’s bodies were designed to “simmer”.You know, like thatsong “Sixty Minute Man” by Clarance Carter.“There’ll be fifteen minutes of squeezing, fifteen minutes of kissing and fifteen minutes of teasing, And fifteen minutes of something you’ve been missing”.The Sixty Minute Man.Most women need 20-40 minutes to achieve an orgasm.I’m not sure how many woman realize this, but it’s a anatomical fact.We’re just built that way.And if we were able to have “The Sixty Minute Man” every day, every time, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.But the reality of our lives is that we don’t always have time for “The Simmer”.Thus we have pharmaceutical companies selling us on the idea that in order to achieve orgasm, or get “in the mood”, we need that “little pink pill”.
Truth be told is that most women can “get in the mood” with just a little attention, and while we LIKE to “simmer”, they can achieve orgasms far more quickly and easily than the 20-40 minutes, with a little help from stimulating balms and vibrating accessories.In my opinion, the majority of women, perhaps ALL women, can avoid this Female Viagra pill, with a little patience and attention. Now, there is no “one size fits all” approach to sex and intimacy.Each woman is different as each couple is different.Everyone has their own special, unique needs, so it is something very personal, and which should be explored, and experimented with.
First of all, the issue lies without our own brains.We “think” that when we wake up, and we’re not in the mood, that’s it.It’s over.But as Joan Price, one of my favorite sex educators, once stated “When you’re in your 20’s-30’s-40’s your sex drive drives you.In your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s you need to drive your sex drive.”We are hard wired that way.Not everyone will experience a waning of their sex drive, just like not everyone is driven for sex in their 20’s, but understanding that some day you might just wake up and not be in the mood, or that this may happen many days, even in your 30’s, can be a symptom of your environment, workload or brain overload.We need to acknowledge that this is happening, and take a step back, and CHOOSE to be “in the mood”.
What does “choosing to be in the mood” mean?You might feel like the mind is willing but the body isn’t.If you are in a relationship where you find you’re not “in the mood” but your partner is, it may be as simple as applying a stimulating balm to the clitoris, or using a vibrator, to “wake up” the body, and wake up the interest.There is nothing wrong with finding a way to wake up desire, when the world outside has come into the bedroom and stopped your mojo.You see, the thing is, we have no problem going to the gym and hopping on a elliptical trainer to get our bodies in shape, or taking vitamins to keep our bodies healthy.We focus on our physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, but we forget that we need to pay attention to our sexual health. Finding the right “tool” to assist you with your sexual health, is key, if you find yourself contemplating the “female viagra” pill.
Alternatives to “Female Viagra”: Stimulant Enhancers options:
Newly offered is the Jimmyjane “Slip and Zing” kit, which offers a lubricant and stimulating balm kit!This adorable kit makes a great gift or simply the most stylish thing on a bedside table. A small glass bottle of Jimmyjane’s Personal Moisturizer and natural, organic Arousal Gel are included to heighten comfort and pleasure for both partners. Both are free of harsh chemicals, and both products are organic and made in the USA with Jimmyjane’s proprietary formulas.
Sensuva On Balm is one of the most discrete, and easy to transport stimulating balms on the market. It’s also one of the most unique in that the stimulating sensation is more like a pulsing, throbbing stimulation. Using ON AROUSAL BALM, can help a woman’s body respond more easily to physical stimulation, and give her the type of full-body awareness that raises her arousal level. These two things give women the ability to achieve orgasm easier.
Intimate Earth is the natural choice for enhancing your intimate moments. Intimate Earth offers Intense and Gentle Stimulating balms, so you can choose what’s right for you! All Intimate Organics products are made with USDA Board Certified Organic Extracts, are vegan friendly, and never tested on animals.
Where do you start with so many wonderful options? I am selecting the most effective tools for women, that they can use to “Jump Start” their desire, while with a partner… so mainly focusing on clitoral stimulation only.
We-Vibe Classic Couples Vibrator
First we’ll start with the number one selling couples toy, the We-Vibe Classic. The thing I like about this is that it’s something that can actually be worn during foreplay. It can be inserted, and as I call it “the warm up act” is the perfect tool to get a woman ready to be in the mood, by vibrating the G-Spot and Clitoris at the same time… hands free! The thing is, once you figure out you love this toy, you’ll learn that it is remote controlled and bluetooth enabled, as well as waterproof! So have fun!
Jimmyjane Lux Form 2
Next we’ll look at the number one selling woman’s toy… it’s the Jimmyjane Form 2. Now I don’t care if you get the traditional Form 2 or the Jimmyjane Form 2 Lux version, they’re both amazing! (you choose the Lux if you’d like to have the more luxurious version with gold, and slightly more power than the original) So this powerful, dual motored little hand held toy is great for nipple stimulation or clitoral stimulation. Feedback from customers is that it’s a pleaser, and can assist a woman in achieving an orgasm in 1-3 minutes! You really can’t beat that!
Palm Power Rechargeable toy
I’d be remiss in not mentioning the Palm Power, and Palm Power rechargeable! This toy is fast becoming one of our customer favorites, as it is GREAT for the man, awesome for the woman, and a GREAT toy to play together. With its changeable heads, it can go from body massage, to G-Spot stimulation, or clitoral stimulation. I’ve even had customers find creative ways to use it for their male partners, on the perineum or the frenulum.
Womanizer 500
Lastly we need to mention the Womanizer, as it is a new toy that has been very effective with assisting women with achieving orgasm. It’s so effective that they have a 30 Day Satisfaction Guaranteed policy! This toy works with suction air technology, which means it is touchless stimulation! Through the different power levels of suction, a woman can have an orgasm in 1-3 minutes. Whether it is the Womanizer 500 or the original Womanizer 100, both work equally well, though the 500 has stronger suction/power and two different head sizes, and the 100 is quieter and has a storage case.
Please let us know if you have any questions about this post, or need any suggestions for other ways to “wake up the libido”! We are here to help! You can write to us at support@trystology.com .
You can see these and other products at www.trystology.com
So, it’s interesting what you learn when you open an adult store. Insurance was more difficult, one landlord was not willing to rent to me, and finding a merchant account, in the beginning was challenging. The one thing I didn’t have any problems with was my bank. They wanted my money, and were even supportive of my store, offering me loans, opening accounts for my business, and one manager even bought some honey dust from me! That was until October, when I had to change my company name! First they said Yes, then No, then Yes, then NO again… this time for good. Even going so far to tell me I could keep my legacy account, then sending me form letters from Sr. VP’s, stating they were unceremoniously closing my account… all because I sold “marital aids”.
I want to thank AVN Magazine editor Sharan Street for publishing my “Open Letter to Chase” in their June 2015 Magazine! I love the support! And most important, we need to get the message out “Get the banks out of our bedrooms! And get back to the business of supporting small business.”
AVN Editor’s Desk, June 2015, Get the Banks Out of the Bedroom
To see our Downtown Ventura, CA location, that the Chase Harbor Bank decided they no longer needed to be associated with, go to www.trystology.net for a slide show of the shop.
So exciting to be part of the Women’s Economic Ventures, and to be a featured client this year!
As a business owner has anything specifically been harder than you expected it would be?
“Because my business encompasses subject matter that makes people uncomfortable, even though I present it in the most delicate, discrete and classiest way, I am continually shocked when I am denied the ability to open a new bank account under my company’s new name. Even after six years of working with a bank, I have been denied from opening a new account while still being able to keep my “legacy” account simply because I sell “marital aids.” I forget the discomfort people and businesses have with my subject matter. We may be in 2015, however within my industry, it may as well be 1950.” Read more…