Category Archives: Lubricants

Fantastic Female Fellacio, and Pass the Cake!

A Guide to Oral Pleasure: For Her!

Trystologists – Welcome back to this week’s freaky edition of ‘Female Fellacio,’ with a side of cake! That’s right – April 14th was Cake and Cunnilingus Day, so we’re discussing oral pleasure: for her! We know we’re a little late to the party, but like an extended birthday, we’re offering some deals this week, along with invitations to a special in-store class! (Interested?!?)

First – what is this holiday, and why?! – April 14 was Cake and Cunnilingus Day, the collective ‘feminine flagship’ response to March 14th’s Steak and a Blow Job Day. These all land on the 14th of the month, since Steak and a Blow Job Day exists in response to Valentine’s Day. I’ve said it before, I’m sure you have too.

“People really like sex and oral sex.”

So I think this may just be another excuse to lick our lips mid-month 😉

“I’ll lick your lips.”

Calm down, we’re getting there!

Full disclosure, this article has been more difficult to write than writing and teaching a class about giving oral pleasure to men.

As a receiver of female fellacio, I can only speak to my personal experience – and it’s been rocky!

As a woman, have I enjoyed oral pleasure? Yes, absolutely!

Did that experience come for free?!

NO!

In my youth, I couldn’t fathom there were men in the world who loved giving oral to women! For some reason, it made me feel apologetic, insecure, exposed… looking back, it gave me pretty severe anxiety! (I’ll add here how grateful I am to men who helped me overcome this. If you’re ever reading this, I deeply thank you.)

Sometimes I felt in charge, other times I felt I was being intimately taken charge of (not sure how to explain this, or if I’m alone here), but when I really boiled things down, I was facing my greatest, personal fear.

Asking for what I wanted.

And when it comes to any of our orgasms, we as individuals have to advocate for ourselves.

Bringing us to our first important point:

Fake it ’till you make it does not apply to female fellacio, ya goose!

It actually doesn’t belong in intimacy at all!

We understand, folks. Any kind of sex is vulnerable, and nearly half of the population feels oral is more intimate than intercourse itself.

For some of us, the idea of our loved one covered in a face-full of bits can feel intimidating and exposing all by itself, never mind then mustering the courage to instruct someone how to do it?!

Well Hear Ye, Hear Ye! – Sometimes we all struggle with asking for what we want! And sure, this goes for everyone, not just we vulva-handlers. The only way to get around this, however, is by:

***asking for what you want, already!***

We know that sounded harsh, so let’s soften the blow.

These fears can stem from a lot of stuff… Traumas? Yup. Patterns of broken expectations? Mmm hmm. Religious beliefs, or prior rejections? Yes and yes.

Well, on Cake and Cunnilingus Day, (or April, as far as we’re concerning) we’re lifting the veil on this thinking! Because that part – daring to dream? To reach for the stars?! To ask for what you desire?!

You should never give up on that. And you shouldn’t fake the pleasure in your life…

Never, ever.

Since our core behaviors permeate multiple areas of our lives, let’s practice asking for what we want by starting with oral sex.

Sound good?

How many licks does it take?

Great question! So let’s dive in 😉

Note to the reader:

This article is written in two parts – instructional advice for the giver, and the receiver. 😉 So, lap it all up, and please discuss with your partners.

(If I knew ONE couple talked about their oral sex lives because of this article, I would feel over the moon!)

Hey, you’re kinda cute…

Before things heat up too much, we have to cover female arousal. Whereas those with swords tend to “lift” upon excitement, vulvas tend to soak…

Why?

(I’m so excited to write about this, everyone, because I’m learning so many things!!!)

To some of us this is becoming old news, and we couldn’t be happier…

“What’s the primary sex organ all genders share?“

The BRAIN! (<— We all shout this part collectively in my head… Fists in the air, and all.)

This is why I started the article the way I did, k? Some of us really want to enjoy oral pleasure, but can’t get out of our own minds long enough to really let go.

So what do you do?

Oral Pleasure 1’O’1 – Set the mood, everyone!

PLAN for a night of intimacy! This takes up a very precious resource, being time, but time worthwhile!

Trystology’s Matriarch, Roylin Downs, has been quoted saying, “Men are like microwaves, women are like crockpots… and a crockpot’s gotta simmer!”

She’s right! Vulva owners need a little time to simmer, so give her the kind of attention she craves! Perhaps that’s candles, a bath, or a sexy massage…

Giver notes: Be present with your partner, and let this be fun! I promise your partner loves your meaningful attention, so watch their breathing, caress their skin, and shower her with genuine compliments!

Trystology Tip: Give your lover a massage! Use just a liiiiiiiittle bit too much oil, and let the oil drip into nether-bits. JUST a little…

Receiver notes: Be present with your partner by being present with yourself!

Remember when we said plan? Take time beforehand to make sure any insecurity you may have has been assessed! Get ready, feel sexy, and do whatever YOU want to feel your best – and know that EVERY vulva is different, and yours is perfect just the way it is.

That said, if you wanna “scape”, DO SO! Some women shave, some don’t. Others wax, while others don’t. Some people rock a proud bush, some don’t.

But what makes you feel confident and sexy? Go that route, baby!

Clean is a different story. One thing all vulvas share in common is they don’t smell like perfume… none of them. So please don’t be thinking yours should, or ever will, or feel you need to perfume that area.

However, taking care of our bits is really important, and we can stay healthy and clean in many ways.

(Wanna know more? https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/lifestyle/hygiene-and-beauty/how-to-clean-your-vagina)

Oral Pleasure 1’O’2 – It’s Getting Wet In Here!

Sexual encounters typically follow this “story-arch,” we’ll call it:

Desire
Arousal
Plateau
Orgasm
Resolution

But according to Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD and author of The Best Oral Sex Ever: His Guide to Going Down, women can experience any of these stages at any time throughout oral pleasure and intimacy!

So after you’ve kissed, caressed, and undressed your partner, you’ve hopefully sparked some desire and arousal. But what is actually happening here?

You might notice her breathing has increased. So feel her! Let your hands rub against her skin slowly and your fingers find your way between her thighs. Notice moaning, wetness, sensitivity, and the rest of her body as you slowly massage the entire vulva paying attention to favorite spots!

When desire strikes, signals are sent to the genitals to prepare for sex. When signals are sent to the vulva, blood flow increases in and around the Clitoris herself! The clitoris is the throne of feminine pleasure, and only about 1/4 of it is exposed right above the vaginal opening. Internal legs of the clitoris run down the inner labia, and hug the nerves surrounding the vagina. Upon arousal, the entire clitoris swells, pushing up against the Bartholin glands, moistening the vulva and vagina!

(PS, Bartholin glands?! I want to KNOW how many readers are learning about these for the first time, because I JUST LEARNED! Aaaand, vulvas are awesome…)

Giver notes: Get some supplies! Lay your partner on the bed so they’re on their backs, and put a pillow underneath their hips to boost their bits! First, this feels loving. You’re truly taking care of your partner, and making them feel prioritized. And second, this exposes all of her most sensitive areas for your feast!

Also, ask her what she likes. Lick her clitoris, and gently run your tongue along the sides of her inner labia. You can sweetly ask, “Like that?” or hum while gently sucking her clitoris. Every so often, grab her thighs and let your tongue slip into her vagina, thrusting back and forth.

Trystology Tip: Just because Bartholin glands exist, lube is always wonderful! We do sell flavored lube by Aloe Cadabra, which is an amazing water-based choice. (Optimal for toy use, which can really take oral for her to the next level!) We also sell Foria Wellness products, which are CBD infused arousal products specially designed for Vulva Owners. This stuff increases sensitivity without feeling synthetic.

Receiver notes: Stay with your breath, and remind yourself it’s okay to let go. This moment is about you, and YES you deserve it. So communicate with your partner! Feel free to moan, arch your back, pinch your nipples, bite the sheets! Maybe practice saying things like, “Yes, I love it like that. Don’t stop!” or “I love what you just did, can you do that again?”

Using our voices is empowering, ladies. And remember, what we practice in one area of our lives can permeate into other areas too!

Oral Pleasure 1’O’3 – Here She Comes!

Firstly, it’s always good to remember no intimate encounter should be about an orgasm, only. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t! And some women loooooooooooove oral, but prefer to finish in other ways.

However, this article is about Oral Pleasure for Her, so let’s get into the Plateau and Orgasm portions of our road map.

If you’ve been kissing her bits, following her signs, and you’ve both been communicating, chances are good she’s really heated up. This may be obvious due to color flush in the skin, hands and feet. As she enters the Plateau of her pleasure, her vulva and nipples will most likely turn their deepest color. She may even be gripping the sheets, or trembling in her inner thighs.

To take her from plateau to orgasm, things generally operate similarly to the way they do for men!

Giver notes: Get comfortable and patient. Whereas vulvas enjoy a wide variety of pleasure throughout Plateau, and orgasm requires some “In it to win it” attitude. When she’s ready to have an orgasm, you may notice some more moaning, (or screaming!). Her muscles will tense, and often times her back will arch. She may even say, “don’t stop,” so follow her response as she reaches climax, and try not to deviate from what’s working.

Trystology Tip: Ask her to tell you when she’s getting close! Gently let her know that it’s okay to guide you, and that you really want to know what makes her feel good. A great guide to giving great oral pleasure is imagine kissing her passionately… just, there instead.

Receiver notes: Communicate! Listen, my gal, no one gets what they want in life without advocating for themselves, and seeing themselves as deserving of what they want!! And NO ONE wants you to have all of the goodness life has in store for you more than your partner!! (At least, that should be the case for you both!)

**If you feel like you have to pee, don’t hold back!!**

Receiver, your body is really cool, and yes, female ejaculation is possible. Should this be the goal to oral pleasure, or any pleasure? No. But just in case you do feel a sudden urge to urinate upon orgasm, take a deep breath and let go!

Many more vulva owners can do this than realize, but they tend to hold themselves back from it because they’re… worried about peeing on their partner.

Urine and female ejaculate are not the same thing, and we encourage vulva owners to explore their self-pleasure if this sensation has come up with any regularity.

But Wait, There’s More!

Let’s discuss that last bullet, Resolution. Once your love, or you and you love climax, things don’t just end! In the same way things take a moment to heat up, or “simmer” if we’re using Roylin’s analogy, they take a moment to cool off too!

Once we have an orgasm, the heart rate starts to slow, and the body begins to re-regulate. This time is perfect for cuddling and snuggling, because all bodies are settling back down. Looking to keep your sweet connection? Hold onto it for a while!

ALSO!!

TRYSTOLOGY IS HOSTING OUR NEXT CLASS!!!

Wanna learn more? Like, what toys work best when accompanied by oral stimulation, what is female ejaculation, best positions and more?!

Well, mark your calendars!

Do you by chance get our newsletters??? SIGN UP!!! Oral Pleasure: For Her is just one of MANY classes we’ll be hosting this summer! Stay on it to get your tickets when they go on sale!

We are thrilled to host yet another class!

We already know this class is going to fill up quick, so if you’d like a seat in class, please get your ticket now.

And to all of our readers, followers, and dedicated customers: Thank you for seeing yourself as worthy of the pleasure beneath your skin! Love the skin you were born into, and dive into the pleasure of female fellacio!

Sex, Aging… And Have I Lost My Mojo?

Ever heard the old saying, “Age is just a number?” Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no, right?

Welcome back to Trystology Talks, friends! In this article we’re exploring sex and aging – the facts and the myths, all while recognizing the unique journey each of us has walked. Some of us have adventured further along this path than others, and although it can be difficult watching ourselves change and transform as the years roll on, aging is something sacred that unites us all. Our wrinkles represent our pasts, and whether those wrinkles signify our children, our scars, our smiles or our pain, (or all of the above), they’re proof of the paths we’ve walked, and stories we’ve lived. So, does this aging mandate a specific time and place for a sorrowful goodbye to our sexual selves or intimate desires? Do we have to lose our mojo as we age? Simply put, not if we don’t want to!

Now, is there anything wrong with choosing to let it go? Not at all. But as we said before, we all have a unique journey within the skin we’re in. Some may feel completely satisfied without sexual desire in their lives after a certain point while others feel drawn to further exploring their sexuality until they bid they’re last farewell. Either way is perfectly fine, but our goal in writing this is to empower you with good information to choose for yourself!

No matter your age, your body is your first home. It is not separate from you, and fuels whatever life you choose to live. Please love it for everything it is, everything it does, and everything it has allowed and continues to allow you to experience. You. Are. Worth. It.

Always.

So let’s get down to brass tax. What happens to the body and our sexuality as we age?

Beyond age, even gender, the truth is we all share the same primary sex organ. The brain. Is it just a sex organ? We know, no. It orchestrates all bodily function, including aging and regulating our sexual organs.

As our brains age, certain hormone production slows, and that’s all part of life. Let’s face it – we don’t need to reproduce for our whole time here. This is why women experience menopause and men experience lower sex drive. But our ability or inability to reproduce need not dictate our choice to have orgasms as we age! The human orgasm is a cocktail beneficial to the body throughout our lives. Yes, it can boost the immune system. Yes, it can produce hormones providing easier access to joy and happiness. And yes, it can combat high cortisol levels throughout the body, lowering systemic stress, even relieving pain.

So what’s normal for each gender regarding sex and aging?

Women

Women can go through many changes as they age since their unique physiology is designed to house and birth life. A woman may experience changes in her vagina, which can shorten, narrow and become more stiff as the vaginal walls thin, especially if there has been a longer break in sexual activity. Whereas this may cause some painful intercourse, there are ways to navigate this. First, we at Trystology always recommend a water based lube, like Sutil Rich Body Glide, partnered with a simple vibrator. Even if you’ve enjoyed years of partnered bliss, the vibrator can act as a tool to help move lubricant up and around the vaginal wall, encouraging more supple tissue within. This practice can lead to less pain during intercourse, and honestly, boost your confidence that girl… yes you can still have an orgasm!

The Dame Arc is a perfect tool to re-awaken delicate vaginal tissue within. Sex and Aging Tip: Please use a water-based lubricant for insertion. We recommend Sutil, for it also contains hyaluron, the same component in hyaluronic acid that helps rebuild the skin’s surface… just within the vaginal canal 🙂

Also, many women at some point in their lives have either a partial or total hysterectomy. This can mean part of the uterus, the entire uterus, or the uterus and fallopian tubes and ovaries are removed. Does this mean the vagina is gone? No. The clitoris? No. Pleasure centers still exist, and whereas there may be some hormonal changes for sure, this doesn’t mean the end of a fulfilling intimate life with a partner, or solo. If this means hormone therapy for you, you may notice a surprising increase in sexual drive, and this is 100% normal. Our suggestion is with lube and a vibrator, get to know your pleasure centers again with confidence, and don’t write off pleasure if your body is craving more! And please, if these methods don’t work for you, consult your doctor to see what’s possible!

Men

Yes, as men age, some performance issues can arise, (and pssst, that’s normal and okay!). Impotence can be a very real struggle for men, and not just sexually. It can impact a man’s confidence and the way they view themselves throughout their daily lives. Herbal supplements or medications can prove to be helpful, but our first suggestion is this – have the courage to get to know your body again. Some men benefit from using rings, commonly known as “cock rings,” to restrict blood flow within the penis, aiding in longer lasting erections. Some rings also provide vibration to the perineum, which stimulate the prostate from the body’s exterior. Vibration on the penis itself can help with arousal, often times best if low and rumbly. Also, to keep a healthy p-spot, men can use toys designed to stimulate the prostate internally! We know this method isn’t for everyone, but can really boost your overall prostate health and the quality of your orgasm.

The We-Vibe Vector is a perfect tool to explore sex and aging in men. It provides different sensations on the testicles and perineum while adding constriction to the penis – and for the brave of heart, the testicles too!. The entire mechanism vibrates, giving pleasure to any partner looking to saddle up.

Similar to women, some men require surgeries as they age, specifically procedures known as prostatectomys. This surgery is performed to remove the prostate all together, but again, this does not mean a fulfilling sexual life is no longer within reach. If you have questions, check in with yourself first. If the methods stated above don’t work for you, ask your doctor! Theres simply no shame in scheduling an appointment to boost your overall ability to love the skin you’re in.

Our Non-binary Fam

Like I said at the top of the article, sex and aging unite us all. I’ll be frank – the information regarding aging within the non-binary community is specialized. I want to encourage each of you to love the body you’re in, and I want to provide good information for you to do so! This knowledge is admittedly outside of my wheelhouse, but I did find some great information for you to review! Please check out this pdf full of great info, and let us know what you think.

—>Trans Issues Later In Life <—

Is there truth to “use it or lose it?”

Great question! When anyone goes without intimate pleasure for a period of time, whether that’s two weeks, a month, or multiple years, the body and mind can enter a state of sexual hibernation. This may make the idea of sex seem uninteresting, or just out of reach completely. While this hibernation is a normal response to lack of sex, it can cause rifts in our minds and within our relationships. Does this mean we have to give up? No. We can always come back to our sensual selves, it just may take some effort! In our youth, we are often driven by our sexual needs, and as we age, especially within long-term relationships, we sometimes need to transition from being driven to driving by choice. There can be slow and sweet ways of going about this by simply adding more intimacy into our relationship. Intimacy doesn’t mandate sex – ever. Intimacy for you could be holding hands more often, enjoying walks together, kissing, even snuggling. Re-establishing physical closeness can be a crucial element of keeping our love alive!

To everyone out there, young and young at heart, thank you. Thank you for reading, and thank you for exploring the ways you can love the skin you’re in, no matter your age. Regardless of where we are along this journey of life, its important to check in with ourselves to determine what’s right for us in any given moment. Along this path of sex and aging, we wish you luck, love, and pleasure.

As always, we at Trystology encourage you to Own Your Orgasm! At every age 😉

To stay up to date, please follow us on Instagram @Trystology! We’re here for you, and welcome your feedback, questions, and support!

Ring, Ring! Calling All Bootys!

Calling all bootys, calling all bootys!

This is your annual Trystology check-up, making sure your rear is in the clear for National Anal Health and Awareness Month. Yes, it’s August, and this month is all about the booty. Don’t worry, no gloves or turning your head to cough is necessary … unless it is, in which case we encourage you to visit your doctor before stopping here.

Instead, we’ve decided to celebrate the month by digging deep to give you the goods on the taboo topic of anal pleasure for her, him, and them. Take a seat, a deep breath and get comfortable as we demystify and openly discuss the intimate, pleasurable, and yes, normal, act of anal sex.

Tense already?

Let’s start by getting to the bottom of some major misunderstandings surrounding this issue. Anal sex, although gaining in popularity between couples of all genders, is not new to humanity, is not dirty, and does not make anyone wrong for enjoying it. Nor does reveling confidently in booty play define your sexual preference in partners. Right now, we’re talking about anatomy. The fact is every human being has millions of pleasure providing nerve-endings in and around their A-Spot, and this ecstasy, for some, can actually support better health and wellness.

Also, if anal play is strictly not your thing, that’s fine too! We’re all different, as we should be. Reminder: we all share more similarities than differences. We all have beating hearts, hopes, desires, bootys, and share the same major sex organ – the brain. In order to enjoy any sexual act, communication and consent together reign as king and queen of this jungle.

Oh, and one more thing…

Here at Trystology we always promote safe sex. If you’ve been blessed with long-term relational bliss, the call is yours, but condoms are always encouraged when entering the back door.

Feeling better? There here we go…

But the butt’s an exit only, right?

More like exit and. Yes, one of the biggest fears with anal play is, I’ll say it, poo, which just isn’t a sexy thing to discuss. To both the timid and the tigers, when done correctly, this issue can be avoided. Now, we all have tummy issues sometimes. If booty play is something you’ve pondered, your first try might not be on a bloated or gassy day.

Trystology tip:

Day of, you might want to avoid dairy or any flatulent prone foods like beans or broccoli. Also, stress itself can make the stomach bubble, so above all else, relax and get your head out of the game.

Um, won’t anal pleasure… hurt?

Lube, lube, lube, my dudes. The anus, unlike the vagina, does not lubricate itself. Safe anal pleasure requires lubrication, protection and when used, can level up any orgasm. However, as stated above, stress can be a major pain here too. When our bodies are stressed or feeling fear, we brace for emotional, and yes physical, impact. Clenching due to stress can make this experience more painful than need be. Getting the brain to calm is a major must.

Trystology tip:

Relax, and go slow. No one is running a race here, and pornography can be incredibly misleading. Even the best porn stars in the game need to warm up for anal play, so let romance and sensuality be your friends. Maybe try a warm bath to clean and calm your tush before the push.

Also, not all lubes are created equally!! Lubricants vary from silicone based, water-based, hybrids, and oils, all of which are safe for anal sex. However, silicone lubes are not made for toys. I repeat, silicone lubes are NOT for toys. The medical grade silicone used for many toys can break down when slathered in some silicone lubes, so don’t break your expensive toys! Water-based and oil lubricants are safe for toy use, so you decide.

Here are Trystology’s top-selling lubricants of every kind:

Uberlube is a premium silicone lubricant free of parabens and other harsh chemicals. Versatile, Uberlube may be used for sex, massage, anti-frizz, and anti-chafing. Formulated with only the highest quality silicone and fragrance-free, Uberlube is perfect for sensitive skin. Weightless in consistency, waterproof, and never sticky, it is easy and comfortable to use. Artfully packaged in a non-porous glass pump bottle and safe to use with rubber latex, silicone, plastic, glass, and metal toys.

Luxurious, long lasting, water based lubricant. It’s made with herbal formulations and an eco-friendly biodegradable bottle for environmentally conscious users. The luxe formula contains a stimulating combination of ingredients (horny goat weed and ginseng) to help increase blood flow to applied areas for longer lasting and increased performance. Sold in multiple sizes from 2oz to 8oz for increased fun!

Formulated for more comfortable anal pleasure, this is the first silicone based lubricant that contains jojoba extract. The jojoba relaxes the skin and anal muscles, but does not desensitize or numb. It’s long lasting, no messy clean-up, contains extra-moisturizing hyaluronan, and is latex condom safe.

All natural Bisabolol extract from the chamomile plant makes this the perfect silicone glide for relaxing anal sex. It has been used for hundreds of years in skin remedies because of its skin healing and muscle relaxing properties. Bisabolol is known to have anti-irritant, anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial properties.

Coconut oil based lubricant by Coconu! Personal moisturizer also works very well as a massage oil. Long lasting formula protects and heals dry skin creating a lasting slippery effect. Made with USDA certified organic coconut oil.

Can anal play stimulate the P-Spot and the G-Spot?!

Yup! Sure can. Anal play is pleasurable for vagina owners, penis owners, and anyone in between. If P-Spot and G-Spot are unfamiliar terms, the P-Spot refers to the prostate, located two to three inches inside the anus of cisgender men. It is stimulated with a finger, buzzy toy, dildo or penis. Why is it pleasurable? Because it provides direct contact with the prostate, and encourages a complete ejaculation, which can lead to you or your partner’s strongest orgasm yet. The prostate will get larger, or feel spongy, upon stimulation, and this type of pleasure can induce an orgasm with or without an erection. Start gently, communicate, and enjoy the ride as this orgasm can be most intense for penis owners.

Trystology Tip:

The second most common type of cancer in the U.S. is that of the prostate. We don’t say this to scare anyone. In fact, here’s some information which may ease your mind, and bits. Harvard found that prostate owners were less likely to develop cancerous cells when their prostates emptied fully, and regularly. Anal play for him/them can actually support longer and stronger sexual health.

Here are some P-Spot tools to fit any bottomline:

Lelo Hugo

The remote controlled LELO HUGO is perfectly designed to offer entirely new avenues of sexual satisfaction. With 8 settings and exclusive SenseMotion technology, HUGO is all set to become the playpartner you’ve been waiting for. It’s USB-rechargeable and 100% waterproof. This expertly sized pleasure object deeply massages the prostate, while a secondary motor in the base stimulates the perineum for overwhelming stimulation.

Aneros Syn V

Helix Syn V produces quiet yet powerful vibration in an ultra-compact, hands-free design and can be used in two modes, powered and unpowered. Helix Syn V offers a unique experience in unpowered mode with fuller, more robust stimulation. Powered mode introduces 8 expertly tuned, preset vibration patterns at 3 levels of intensity for a total of 24 enhanced sensory experiences, utilizing a simple multifunction button control.

Sensuelle Homme Pro S

Here’s the rechargeable prostate massager by Sensuelle. Curved to follow the body’s natural flow, this internal massager has ten different vibration intensities and a ball massager at the tip. It has three different up and down speeds for complete pleasure!

Ah yes, the G-Spot. Otherwise known as the Grafenberg Spot, it’s located in the vagina if cisgender women one to three inches in and toward the belly button, however, can also be stimulated anally. The G-Spot enlarges with steady contact like the prostate, whether directly through the vagina or by way of the back door. Gentle come hither motions to start are best for anal pleasure and sensations only increase when coupled with buzzy or oral clitoral stimulation.

Trystology Tip:

Start with a plug! Taking in a partner’s full member, or even a dildo, can feel intense to start, so start low and slow! Plugs are designed to stay in place, and many come in super cute designs! Some vibrate, some don’t.

Either way, G-Spot, here’s the buzz on some of our favorite fillings:

Godebuster Medium Plug

A medium glow in the dark, vibrating, anal plug… Does it get more fun? Godebuster can be used for personal pleasure or as a gift for lovers or friends.

Rianne S Booty Plug Set

Rianne S allows wearers to display their booty beauty with pride! These extra sleek silicone plugs are beautifully finished with a gem-like stone. It’s the ideal training kit to further explore anal pleasure and undiscovered erogenous zones.

Sensuelle Mini Plug with Remote

This plug can be used solo or with a partner for lots of sexy fun. It comes with fifteen different speeds and a one year warranty!
Features also include a USB Rechargeable Bullet, USB Rechargeable Remote, it’s 100% Waterproof (submersible), and there’s a toy bag included!

Conclusion?

If you’re happy and you know it, bottoms up! Anal pleasure, when done carefully, kindly, and safely, can excite your love life while improving your health, not shaming it. Here at Trystology, we encourage you to love your tush, and all the pleasure it has to offer. Check up complete, and your rear is clear for take off!

Please, Mother, May I?

Happy Mother’s Day!

To Mom’s everywhere, Trystology would like to thank you for all that you do! You wash away our tears, our fears, and deserve the amazing care you give shined back at you this Mother’s Day. Well, shh… we have a secret. Mother’s Day isn’t the only holiday celebrated here. Since 1995, May has been dubbed Masturbation Month, and Trystology has every potion and product to help you feel praised all month long.

First, the facts.

With everything happening in our world, could orgasms possibly be that important? Well… YES! Along with promoting better sleep and mitigating pain, regular climaxing can support a healthy immune system. When our bodies achieve orgasm, dopamine and oxytocin flood the body to control our stress hormone, cortisol. Cortisol is an important bodily hormone when the amount stays just right, but when it surges with stress we can find ourselves at risk of high blood sugar and a loss of bone density. Oh May, oh my, let’s all make more time for our big O!

After much deliberation, here’s a list of this month’s Trystology favorites!:

Foria Awaken CBD Arousal Oil:

Foria’s Awaken CBD Oil is topical, and specially designed for women and people with vulvas. If you’re looking for a lubricant to enhance pleasure while increasing sensitivity, Foria’s blend of broad-spectrum CBD and organic botanicals won’t disappoint. This product is great solo or with a partner, and contains about 30 uses per bottle.

Kiki De Montparnasse Massage Candle:

For a night in, perhaps a sensual massage, our Kiki De Montparnasse massage candles will make you melt. Light the candle to let the aroma fill the room, then enjoy the convenient spout on the side to pour this coconut and soybean blend onto the skin for a warm and sweet massage.

Sutil Rich Body Glide:

Trystology Tip: Not all lubes should be used with toys. Many lubricants are silicone based, and whereas they provide the motion of the ocean, they can end up damaging our toys over time. For toys, partnered or solo, we recommend Sutil’s Rich Body Glide. This lubricant is water based and has a rich texture. Win, win!

Vesper Vibrator from Crave:

This is the discrete, gorgeous, and classy vibrator for that “O” on the go! This sleek, elegant design can be worn as a necklace; the perfect reminder to own your orgasm no matter where you are. This toy is “whisper” quiet and comes in gold, silver, and rose gold.

Womanizer:

What can we say… this toy rocks! This revolutionary toy sports Pleasure Air Technology, providing multiple settings for multiple, rolling orgasms. The Womanizer imitates oral pleasure, and ladies… it’s awesome!

From everyone at Trystology, may this May be memorable. May we perhaps see ourselves as worth the pleasure we all deserve!

Sexual Independence Month!

Let’s claim July as Sexual Independence Month! Becoming sexually independent can look like what you want it to look like, so this month I’ll share some ideas that individuals can use to become “sexually independent”! But first, let’s discuss setting the tone for being able to claim sexually independence!

Whether you are a confident and assertive sexual being, or someone who is more curious or timid, there comes a time where we all become aware of our needs and desires. Sometimes this awareness comes naturally… you know those people who are just always “on”! Always ready. Then there are others who are comfortable to just “be”. If it happens, it happens. And then there are those who are in what I call “hibernation”! Much like a sleeping bear, hibernation for our sexual side of our being can mean that that part of ourselves can be “asleep”! You know that feeling! We all get it sometimes… It can be days, weeks, maybe even months or years when you aren’t aware of your sexual side of yourself! Work. Family. Stress. Financials. These all play into whether we are able to awaken our sexual side of our being to be open to allowing us to feel desire.

Below I am providing the Trystology Talk Episode 8 on Hibernation, for those that may want to “wake up” their bodies, if they find that this subject speaks to them!

Whatever stage you are in, on – content – hibernating – I’d like to have you choose this month to assert yourself and acknowledge your sexual independence!

I know this might not be an easy thing. How we respond to our needs and desires can vary. By default, some people will act on them, while others might naturally tuck those feelings aside and ignore or pretend they don’t exist. Other’s may not even be aware that they “aren’t in the game”. While these responses are natural and happen automatically, without thought, I am asking you to make a conscious choice to choose to “own it“… your sexual self!

Here’s the thing… no one checks in on us as to whether we’re doing well with our sexual selves. They might ask about whether you exercised. Meditated. Ate well. But when you meet your friends for coffee, they will most likely never ask if you’ve had your orgasm today! Really! Right?!? We can focus on our nutritional health, spiritual health, emotional health, physical health, but no one asks about or focuses (usually) on their sexual health! THIS MONTH, I want to change that! I want you to consciously choose to wake up your sexual side.

So what does that mean? And what are you choosing? Sexual independence is not much different than waking yourself up from hibernation. It’s choosing to self pleasure, or have intimacy with a partner, even when you’re not necessarily feeling like it! We take our vitamins when we’re not eating well. We exercise when we “don’t feel like it”. But when it comes to sex, and intimacy, we tend to think we have to feel like it! This isn’t really true! You can wake yourself up, and you can enjoy intimacy and pleasure… even if you don’t think you can.

All of this is so very personal, so take from this what resonates with you! If you just want a massage oil and a massage to gain your sexual independence this month, then choose that. If you need to learn to wake up the body, and want a stimulating balm, or figure out what vibrator might work best for you or your partner, then let’s explore that! And some people still may want to explore the orgasm-a-day philosophy… solo or with their partner. Either way, make a choice to find out what it is that might be interesting to you, and then… it’s all about play!

Sexual Independence Tools! Here we’ll provide some ideas to explore. We have curated tools that will help with regaining your sexual self. We will start with Stimulating Balms for the clitoris, as some are really tingly, almost electric, like the ON Balm. Other’s are more gentle, like Intimate Organics Gentle, or stronger, like Intimate Organics Intense or Coco De Mer Pure Delight! We will include Ride for men, which helps to extend their experience, or enhance it, and provide tools to play.

You’ll see that, much like my podcast on hibernation, we have included the full spectrum of tools in this section. From massage tools, to couples toys, and vibrators for him and her.

If you have any questions, or want any recommendations, don’t hesitate to give us a call! We even do private consultations, if you’re interested! We can be reached at 888-801-8952.

Trystology Talk Podcast – Episode 6

What exactly is vanilla sex?

In this podcast episode, Roylin explores the “vanilla” side of sexuality. Vanilla can come in so many variations, and not all vanilla relationships are created equal. Urbandictionary.com defines Vanilla Sex as Sex that involves no twists or kinkiness, and no S&M. Basically plain regular sex. Typically sweet and happy and very lovey-dovey.

Like most of what Roylin teaches at Trystology, each person chooses for himself or herself what is right for them. It’s interesting that not even Roylin’s 25-year-old son agrees with the concept that Roylin is “heterosexual, monogamous and vanilla” as she claims. He feels she is breaking the code of vanilla by introducing sex toys into the relationship.

Roylin challenges him to consider that adding a toy to insure a woman achieves an orgasm isn’t beyond the boundaries of vanilla sex! Why does vanilla sex have to be devoid of pleasures or orgasm? So, Roylin took to Facebook to survey whether vanilla could include a toy or not. There were many no’s, however the consensus was yes, it’s okay, as our society has evolved. In creating the survey, Roylin was able to show how diverse perspectives are able to come together with a new definition of vanilla. One participant came up with the following modernized definition for consideration.

Vanilla = lack of any kinks or fetishes. Varied positions and toys are fine because they are mainstream at this point. What used to be a kink in society may not be anymore as the society opens up to the idea.

What’s the deal with all the different types of lubes?

In the Toy Talk portion of the show, Roylin discusses personal lubricants, from Überlube, a silicone and vitamin E lube, to a water and silicone hybrid called Pink Unity. And Good Clean Love, a chemical free, water based lube.

Roylin discusses how lubes can be used to assist women with aging issues, like thinning tissue, or dryness and painful intercourse. Pjur Med Repair is a plant based water based lube that creates a water protection on the tissue to assist with lovemaking and avoiding painful intercourse. When used with Überlube on the male, or toy, you get a combination of protection and glide!

Lastly she discusses the edible lubricants from Sliquid, which Roylin likes to call dessert!! They are delicious flavors, and no matter what you like, whether Strawberry Pomegranate or Pina Colada, you will find a flavor you enjoy!

We hope you enjoy Episode 6 of Trystology Talk!

Couples Play, Trystology-Style

Couples Play Kits from Trystology

Whether you’ve been together for weeks or decades, bringing sensual play into your relationship is a wonderful way to bond, and getting a massage from your partner is one of the most sensual experiences you can have. The combination of a massage oil and the right tool in the hands of your lover might be just what you need to unwind and build intimacy.

Gentle, soothing touch is an important part of couple’s play because it lets both partners put their minds and bodies at ease while enjoying each other. In this case, “gentle, soothing touch” means sensual play, the meeting point of sexy and calming. Now, I know, that sounds like a natural contradiction. Who wants partner play to be calming? Isn’t it supposed to be exciting? Well, yes, but guess what- it can be both. With couple’s massages (given by you and your partner, to each other) you can relax your body and mind while giving in to pleasure with your partner. Cool, right?

Exchanging massages with your partner creates sensual intimacy, and at Trystology we make it easy, with the Let’s Play Kit. A warm massage oil candle with soy and jojoba oils, a bottle of Uberlube silicone lubricant and massage oil with vitamin E, and a discrete, body-safe vibrator with a shape perfect for relaxing and sensual…in just the right places. The kit’s warm massage oil or smooth silicone lubricant/massage oil can be rubbed into the skin worked over with the massage tool for total relaxation. Plus, the skin will be left feeling soft by the hydrating natural oils of the candle. Or, if you choose to use the Uberlube for your massage, when you’re done the silicone will wash off of the body while the vitamin E will soak in to nourish the skin.

Created for couples to tap into the most basic sense of intimacy -Touch- in an exciting way, the Let’s Play Kit is just right for those times when you need to let go of stress and indulge in time alone with your partner.

Stocking stuffers for him and her

It’s almost Christmas, and you are wondering what you can put in the stocking to light up your partner…

Here you go!

Who doesn’t like a little Chocolate Body Paint? “The most passionate taste to penetrate the skin with the intensity of cocoa for provoking the most intense desires.” Bijoux Indescretes thought of everything… delicious flavor with a feather wand to draw on your partner! Also available in Caramel, Strawberry and Frozen Yogurt!

Along the Edible Theme, Sliquid has a wonderful line of edible lubricants that are sure to please! Strawberry Pomogrante Swirl is a favorite, but who doesn’t like the classic Green Apple, Cherry Vanilla, and Pina Colada! Sliquid Naturals Swirl is a line of flavored and water based lubricants all of which are glycerin and paraben-free. Based on the original Naturals H20 water based lubricant, Swirl adds a bit of flavor and sweetness to mix things up.

And to add a little tingle to the edible side of stocking stuffers, we’ve got Nipple Nibblers! If nipples could smile! Cool and creamy Nipple Nibblers will stimulate more than just your taste buds. Indulge in the smooth, silky richness on your lips or nipples. Watch your lover smile. Available in 7 flavors: Grape, Bubblegum, Buttercream, Strawberry, Raspberry, Watermelon, and Mandarin.

For him, we’ve got the funnest stocking stuffer! Tenga Eggs are cute to simply place in the stocking, and fun for play together! Each egg has a design on the outside, which is the same as the design on the inside of the egg. Each egg comes with a little pouch of water based lube, and can be used solo, or with a partner.

Always fun, is a little naughty play! Feather ticklers, and playful restraints by Bijoux Indescretes fit the bill! Use this luxurious marabou feather tickler to discover new sensations as you tickle and trace along your partner’s body for a night of unforgettable pleasure. The battle of seduction has begun! Prepare to fight skin to skin with Desir Metallique metal mesh handcuffs when on the battlefield. Easy-to-wear bracelets for any occasion, in private they become suggestive handcuffs for soft bondage games.

And in EVERY stocking should be a bottle of Uberlube!!! It doesn’t matter whether it’s a Good To Go portable Uberlube, or a 50ml or 100ml, no home is complete without a bottle of Uberlube! What is Uberlube, you might ask? It’s a massage oil/lubricant, that can be used for oh, so many things! Not only does it have no scent, no taste, but it can be used for a massage, as a lubricant, on your hair to tame it, or under makeup for a smooth finish. Once applied it leaves the skin feeling soft and powdery! At Trystology, we like to say “don’t make love without it!”

One last gift idea for her… Vesper by Crave! You know you want to give her jewelry, but you don’t want to give her the wrong idea! Why not give her a beautiful necklace, that is also a VIBRATOR! What woman wouldn’t LOVE that! Not only would she be able to wear this in public with almost no one knowing she’s got a love tool around her neck, but it’s something you can play with… at any time! Ranging from $79-149, In Silver, Rose Gold and Gold… This is one jewelry piece she will be proud to wear!

Crave Vesper Rose Gold Vibarator Necklace

Whatever you decide you need for your stocking stuffer, the whole point is to have fun… Lots and lots of fun! Check out all our stocking stuffers at www.trystology.com

Pjur Med Repair Glide Lubricant

By Amber St. Clare

I love lubricants that are long lasting and provide a nice amount of slip and slide. I recently tried Pjur Med Repair Lube, which is a a lubricant that offers long lasting wetness paired with restorative repairing properties. This lubricant comes in an easy to pour white plastic bottle with a pop open top. It’s slick and very smooth and nearly feels like a silicone lubricant, though it is water-based. It’s not sticky, and it won’t stain your sheets. It’s also compatible with all sex toy materials. It’s condom safe and is contains Sodium Hyaluronate, which helps bind more water and helps this lubricant provide longer staying power.

Ingredients: Water, Glycerin, Xanthan Gum, Sodium Hyaluronate, Benzyl Alcohol, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate and Citric Acid

Sodium Hyaluronate is meant to offer repairing properties to the mucous membranes of your genitals also, It helps to cover the skin with an invisible film that protects the skin while also hydrating it and keeping it soft during sex and masturbation. I’ve tried this lubricant a few times already and I really do like it. The formula is smooth, doesn’t cause a sticky mess, it has no smell or taste, and it works really well on both silicone sex toys and glass toys. It doesn’t leave my skin tacky or sticky feeling, and it doesn’t leave behind a slippery film of any kind. It also works nicely in the shower! So it’s ideal for masturbation in the shower, as it says nicely on the skin even when water spray comes in contact with the lube. It’s very moisturizing and you really only need a dime size amount to get things moving smoothly. You can get a 100ml bottle of Pjur Med Repair Glide Lubricant at Trystology.

I love Trystology’s banner for the summer…so relaxing looking!

Sliquid Sassy Lube

By @ Amber St. Clare

Sliquid Sassy Lubricant is for long-lasting lubrication which makes it ideal for anal play. It’s a water-based lubricant, similar to their H2O formula, but this texture is thicker and more like a gel. The thicker texture makes it ideal for anal sex, or anal play using fingers or toys, because unlike some other water-based lubricants, Sassy doesn’t dry out as quickly. The 8 oz bottle offers an easy to use flip top, and a cute bright pink label. Just like with other Sliquid formulas, they use natural ingredients in their lubricants to put your sexual health first. Their list of ingredients are pretty minimal but also effective and natural.

Ingredients: Purified Water, Plant Cellulose (from Cotton), Cyamopsis (Guar Conditioners), Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid

This formula can be used with any sex toys of your choice, including silicone, and they work very nicely on glass toys and steel toys as well. While this lubricant was originally marketed as their “booty formula” for anal play, it’s perfectly great as a lubricant anywhere, including for use with a partner for manual sex, as well as vaginal sex. I really like the thick texture, I can put a drop on the tip of my finger or a sex toy, and turn it over, but the lube stays in place. It’s a really soft and smooth texture, and as you can see from the ingredient list, it’s one the the purest water-based lubes on the market. Add a little lube to your ass, and a little more to the tip of a butt plug, or the tip of a penis, and enjoy stimulation with a nice lubricant that glides and adds comfort for penetration. This is my go-to water-based lube for anal play, and it’s even become one of my favorites for clitoral and vaginal masturbation. The formula is great and feels wonderful on the skin, without leaving a sticky residue. It’s also non-staining, and the thicker formula stays where you need it most without the constant need for re-application. This lube is a keeper!