Happy June, Southern California! Multi-colored flags are blowing in the sea breeze, and it is that time of year again! Trystology is celebrating Pride in all of it’s glory, but this year, we want to do so differently. Instead of recounting the history of Stonewall (don’t know what that is?! Please look it up!), emphasizing proper pronoun use, or spreading the good word that orgasms are natural and healthy (goes without saying, right?), we at Trystology have a special thanks to give this Pride season. See, whereas the LGBTQ community has had to define themselves by using labels to break free from heteronormative language and society, the love represented by this flag knows no boundary. In a world full of madness, this flag waves as a beacon to all those looking to authentically love and be loved beyond the label.

And well… that’s great for all of us… and in our humble opinion, here’s why! 😉

Full disclosure, as a shop specializing in intimate products for adults, we know most people here in the US have hang-ups about their sexuality.

It’s a sad, but true, fact that we grew up with bunk information about sex – if any at all! And because orgasms, arousal, and intimacy don’t come up as typical dinner table conversations, many of us were left to answer our own questions behind locked doors, on the internet, or within inaccurate anatomy books! Worse yet, as we looked, we only found two labeled camps – his sexuality and hers. Each had a specific function that neither could cross, like some sacred lock and key! Meanwhile, all of this “hush-hushing” and bad information left a lot of us feeling guilt and shame about our bodies, our desires, and the pleasure hard-wired beneath our skin for centuries. And that’s not LGBTQ specific, this informational short-changing was bad for everyone!

Now there’s no getting around it – historically, the LGBTQ community has faced persecution, insult, discrimination, violence and invisibility. On the morning of June 28th 1969, warriors at the Stonewall bar in NYC ushered in a new demand for equality, and one that now echoes every June worldwide. But with only about 8% of the population identifying within the LGBTQ umbrella, why has Pride become such a big deal for all of us, all over?

Our educated guess?

Beyond labels, the LGBTQ community fought for their sexual rights, their freedom, and their visibility – and by doing so, also fought for yours!

And in their fight, the LGBTQ community further exposed one of the biggest lies we tell our younger humans, and that’s this:

Man = Masculine vs Woman = Feminine

Wrong-O! Every human being is comprised of both masculine and feminine energies. To the heterosexual shifting in their chair right now, yes, this means you too! My male partner has many masculine traits, but he can also make mean curtains, which doesn’t impact his gender identity at all! Women like Becca Longo can kick the ever-living hell out of a football, and may just be the NFL’s first female kicker! She’s good at what she does beyond the false binary. Period.

Now, those last three innocent sentences I just strung together really put a smile on my face, and I hope they put a smile on yours. But not long ago, even those innocent statements would have raised eyebrows. It is thanks to the LGBTQ community for pushing boundaries, making room for all of us to confidently fit and identify – somewhere. The man who loves dresses, the woman attracted to her female best friend, and the non-binary person who didn’t fit the male or female checkbox aren’t marching for football or curtains. No, the they’re marching to love, be loved, and send a message – you are worth divine love too.

Since Trystology is a sex-positive haven for the community, we have one more big, BIG thank you to share. And O… it’s a big one 😉

THANK YOU FOR MAKING SEX BETTER FOR EVERYONE!!!!

Yes, community. Thank you for making sex better for everyone. You know what happens when an open dialogue starts? About anything? Empathy. Discovery. Growth. Vulnerability. Confidence. Healing. That’s what happens. And over the last 50 years, this dialogue has begged the question:

“What is my sexual preference?”

Lemme tell ya somethin’ right now. That is fucking revolutionary! Our grandparents never asked about this, and neither did a lot of our parents. Men were expected to be men, women were expected to be women, and anything outside of the realm of missionary was downright taboo. And women getting their orgasms?! Pshh, forget it.

The introduction of, “What is my sexual preference,” was a seed of consent. This neatly wrapped question encourages exploration for those who don’t know how the receive pleasure, and relief for those who do! And that really amped up the sex world. Sturdy, well designed strap-ons became more readily available for everyone, including the hetero couples! Plugs became fun for all genders! The truth came out that if you’re alive, you’ve got pleasure beneath your skin. And better yet, your pleasure is uniquely yours to discover.

(Now, pro-tip. Don’t just go out your front door today asking the world about their sexual preference… No, no. That’s rude. Remember – your discovery is your own to share with whomever you see fit, and that goes for everyone else too. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, people, looks sexy on everyone!)

In closing, one more shout out for the LGBTQ community! We know we’ve said it a lot, but we just won’t stop.

Thank You!

Thank you for being who you are, and giving the world consent to do the same. As human beings, we all cover a vast spectrum of talent, ingenuity, creativity, intelligence, and yes… sexuality. No one person out there is exactly the same as you, and none of us are the same today as we were yesterday. As we continue to grow as a society and world, may this banner wave, and may we all have pride to love beyond labels.