Tag Archives: Health

One Story Along the Road to Sexual Health

What does sexual health mean to you? Yes, it’s Trystology here, asking our readers to join as we explore the incredibly vast topic of sexual health. Is it ‘safe sex’ defined by condoms or diaphragms? For those who are single, is it regular STI testing? For our honeyed-up crowd, is it loyalty? Regularity? What exactly is sexual health, and how could it be the same for everyone? Better yet, can it be boiled down to one thing for anyone, or is sexual health inherently more spectral?

This week I’ve taken to asking a slew of folks about what sexual health means to them, but every answer led me back to my own question.

I found myself alone asking, what does sexual health mean… to me? And since I probably don’t know you, I’m realizing all I have is my story, my journey, and how my idea of sexual health has changed over the years. My journey will be different than yours. Perhaps you will find parallels, pieces you agree with and things you don’t, and that’s perfect. To me, sexual health involves a regal, confident, and free mindset. One of knowing you are deserving of the pleasure your body has in store for you, and that no one, no thing, no situation, and no trauma has the ability to rob you of that without your explicit permission. What do I mean?

Well, without further ado, this road starts with my first partnered orgasm.

Wish me luck, ‘cuz here we go.

I, like many cisgender females I know, did not have an orgasm the first time I had sex. Nor the second. In fact, it took so long to happen I was convinced I was doing something wrong. Condoms? Check. My young attempt at being sexy? Check. Clean, and smelling good? Check. But I just couldn’t get there. I felt alone, and that feeling further prolonged my orgasm’s arrival. Not only that, I faked it. Not just sometimes, but every time. I recalled some elder female once telling me how important it was for men to feel powerful and successful in bed, and the last thing I wanted was to make anyone feel like as much of a failure as I felt I was.

Then, one magical day, it happened.

Now before you go thinking I was with some Romeo, let me assure you, I was not. It happened almost randomly. After nearly a year of sexual activity, I remember hearing a voice deep within telling me to let go. It fascinated me. I didn’t know what I was letting go of, but I just took a breath and followed the thought toward my first feeling of partnered ecstasy. This was also my first brush with sexual health. Simply put, having the courage to ‘let go.’

As the years and a few partners elapsed, orgasming never came easily to me. Somehow the words of that elder woman stayed, like gum in hair or oil in water. No matter the encounter, I always prioritized my partner, never myself. Sexual health and/or success was only achieved when the person I loved was happily snoozing away. This belief got me into some dangerous situations, as I never learned how to stand in my power. Honestly, I didn’t know it was an option. Yet, even after rape, abusive relationships, assault, lies, and general nonsense, that same voice would appear every so often saying, sometimes screaming, ‘let go, LET GO’ but let go of what, I still couldn’t pinpoint.

It wasn’t until my thirties I started to piece it together.

What was I letting go of? I’ll tell you. I had to release my bad habit of seeing myself as second to the world around me. This realization truly blew my mind. I was, am, and will always be deserving of the pleasure that exists beneath my skin. Outside of it too. Period.

So what changed?

Honestly, my current partner. Every so often life presents us with magnificent teachers. Many of them exist here at Trystology, but mine sauntered into my life four years ago. By the time we met, my mind and body had endured a lot. So had his, yet he had the courage and endurance to stand by my side as I stepped into my sexual power for the first time.

He asked questions about what I liked, and assured me he was willing to support, not shame me. I was so shy at the time, I could barely squeak out, “I don’t know,” but lovingly, he continued to ask. He showed me the door to seeing myself as more. More deserving, less ashamed. More empowered, less small. More me, less of a people pleaser. In return, holding him has never felt like a chore or job. Just the opposite, in fact. It feels like an honor, and somewhere along the way, sexuality became ours, not just his or mine.

Officially, what is sexual health?

I still think it varies. This story is just one of infinite stories, but I do believe the root of sexual health and wellbeing is knowing you deserve the unique pleasure waiting beneath your skin. You don’t have to be pretty or handsome enough, smart enough, wise enough, none of that crap. Simply living makes you enough. And whereas my partner inspired a change, that change was always available to me. Partnered or not. However, I alone had to step through that door to brave what was waiting on the other side. What I found was freedom, movement, and a version of me I’d never met. I was strong, sensual, and confident once I let my chains go. Proudly, I still am.

If you’re looking to boast your sexual health with pride and enjoy the skin you’re in, we gotta say, this set rocks. Monique Morin’s Wild Lace Long Line Bra is cozy, sexy, and unbeatably flattering
Bracli epitomizes class. This luxury lingerie brand adds lavish lust to any bedroom, while sporting real, yes real, pearls. These pearls also make this lingerie set wearable during the deed, and add pleasure to both you and your partner.

So hey you, person I’ve never met…

You deserve your body and everything it has in store for you.

Perhaps you don’t feel this way right now, but you do. You deserve partners who make you feel safe. You deserve a life second to none. You deserve whatever you deem healthy sexuality to be. Period.

In celebration of health, we’ve decided to feature some of the best lingerie Trystology has to offer. We carry beautiful sets by Monique Morin and Bracli, perfect for any occasion to beautifully flaunt exactly who you are.

Since working for Trystology, my wisdom and confidence has only grown, and in writing these blogs, we hope yours has too.

An orgasm a day, Trystology?! Really?! Isn’t that a bit… much?

No. Because you are worth all of you.

Always.

Also, still use protection. It’s important. 😉

Lovability makes great condoms in cute packaging. Embarrassed by visitors finding your stash? Not anymore! Sexual health. In a tin 🙂

For Health’s Sake, Man, Own That Orgasm! ;)

Gentlemen of all ages, start your engines! June is Men’s Health Month, and Trystology is here to inform, inspire and support the men in our lives to confidently own their orgasms, for health’s sake! Yep, you read it correctly. It’s true that a sexy man is a healthy man, and in order to maintain optimal health, both mentally and physically, the men we love need to unload! So whether you’re a penis owner, admirer, or both, Trystology has the high end toys and researched tips to ride toward good health in style. Giddy-up, Cowboy!

Now, let’s get right into it. The past few years haven’t been awesome for the overall image of men. The #MeToo movement was certainly necessary, and gave a voice to silenced women worldwide, but does a man’s sexuality inherently make him a threat? Absolutely not! Good men exist all over the world, and like all of us, deserve the throws of their O’s, with or without a partner. In fact, it’s science! Men who orgasm frequently significantly lower their chances of developing prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction, or ED. Do we have your attention now? Read on, dude!

We’ll start by demystifying manhood…

We know female genitalia is beautifully cloaked in complexity and mystery, but to say men are simple in comparison is misguided and misinformed.  And even though the penis is naturally designed for awe inspiring pleasure, a man’s nether region is much more than just his shaft! Major players of the male reproductive system include his penis, testicles, prostate, and mind, but the possibilities for providing, even increasing pleasure to these areas is infinite, and important to a man’s overall wellbeing.

The scary fact is prostate cancer has risen to the second most common form of cancer found in the US. Nearly one out of eleven men will develop prostate cancer throughout their lives, and this rise in illness led Harvard to study men of all ages consistently for 18 years. Throughout the study, doctors monitored how often their patients were getting it on and found men who ejaculated an average of 21 times per month lowered their risk of cancer by 33%. We encourage you to read that sentence again… 33%! Erectile dysfunction is even more common, lending some validity to the old adage, “use it or lose it.” That’s nothing to turn your head and cough at, especially when more pleasure could keep you safe.

Owning Anal Play Could Keep the Doctor Away!

As previously mentioned, referring to the male make-up as simple is just false. Seminal fluid is produced in the prostate, which is located inside cisgender men between the anus and the testicles. It gently wraps around the urethra, contracts to ejaculate semen from the body upon climax, and oooh, by the way, when stimulated can increase the intensity of your man’s O by 80%! So how do we invite prostate play to the party?

There are two ways to stimulate the prostate during lovemaking – internally and externally. Option number one causes many hetero men to clench, so let’s take a collective deep breath to discuss anal. Ah yes, men all over the world receive massive pleasure from anal stimulation, no matter how they sexually identify! The anus is loaded with nerve endings sensitive to touch, tongues, and vibration. Just inside are two sphincters, followed by the rectum. It’s here, just a few inches in, where we can pleasure the prostate with a well lubed finger or toy, coupled by a gentle “come here,” motion. Here at Trystology, we recognize this action is comfortable for some while not for others, so if you’re still warming up to the idea, engaging the perineum may sound like a more enticing route. The perineum is the nerve-ending haven of skin between the anus and testicles, and when stimulated can provide extraordinary pleasure, whether tongued or tickled. Engaging the perineum adds the cherry on top to any hand job, blow job, or intimate encounter. What to use, you ask? Here’s our list of favorites:

The Njoy Pure Wand provides superior G- or P-Spot stimulation. Its design features perfect curvature and ample reach for comfort.
* Length: 8 inches
* Tip Diameter: 1 inch
* Base Diameter: 1.5 inches
* Weight: 1.5 pounds
Njoy’s most versatile design, the Fun Wand provides a plethora of sensual possibilities. Ideal alone or with a partner, the Fun Wand is great fun for combined oral and G-spot stimulation, or flip the toy (and your partner!) over and use the graduated bulbs to give them the anal treat you know they deserve…
* Length: 8 inches
* Tip Diameter: 1 inch
* Base Diameter: 0.75 inches
* Weight: 12 ounces
With rumbling vibrations that target both the prostate and the perineum, Vector leads the way to sensations that go beyond anything experienced before. Designed for comfort with an adjustable head and flexible base, Vector hits all the right spots.
In 2012 Aneros introduced the Helix Syn™. Featuring the perfect combination of responsiveness and focused stimulation paired with the comfort and elegance of silicone, the Helix Syn™ went on to become the most popular hands free male G spot massager in the world. Today we proudly present the Helix Syn™ Trident, the synthesis of our newest Trident series innovations with our most luxuriant velvet touch silicone yet. The Helix Syn™ Trident powerfully amplifies encounters with a partner and takes solo exploration to the level of multi-orgasmic ecstasy.


Each Aneros Progasm Ice is a one-of-a-kind. The production process creates a unique air bubble, making each one unlike any other. The sleek design provides an intense prostate massage backed by our patented hands-free design. Just like the original Progasm, this famous prostate stimulator has an overwhelming reputation for being the best p-spot massagers ever invented. They were scientifically developed to massage the prostate gland and the perineum, which greatly enhances sensitivity and sexual function. Ergonomically designed to improve/ induce orgasms for men.
Progasm has the most girth to its design and is considered the most advanced design in the evolution of male g-spot stimulators.
With 8 settings and exclusive SenseMotion technology, HUGO is all set to become the playpartner you’ve been waiting for.
USB-rechargeable and 100% waterproof, this expertly sized pleasure object deeply massages the prostate, while a secondary motor in the base stimulates the perineum for overwhelming stimulation.
1 – WAVEMOTION™ TECHNOLOGY
LOKI Wave™ features a beckoning, ‘come-hither’ motion on top of its deep, satisfying vibrations.
2 – RIDE WAVES OF PLEASURE
The first massager capable of surging within you for intense self-prostate stimulation.
3 – MORE POWER FOR MORE PLEASURE
Two motors to accurately target the prostate and perineum for more explosive climaxes.
The Deuceª is a harness specifically designed for men. It assists in prolonging foreplay and maintaining an erection, and features a belt and adjustable leg straps. Its elastic O-ring expands and contracts to fit a variety of dildos and can also accomodate a mini vibe for additional pleasure. Included is a lightweight storage pouch with two pockets.
The Bellaª couture lingerie harness creates a sophisticated and dramatic silhouette, with delicate lace, a cascading bow, and a peek of rear cleavage. It wicks away moisture and has two internal mini-vibe pockets that securely fit toys 1.25 to 2.25 inches in diameter. Sturdy and flexible, Bellaª will not lose its shape even with frequent use.

He’s Going the Distance!

If longevity in lovemaking or maintaining an erection is your current primary focus, Trystology has tools and tips for that too! Facts are facts, and both erectile dysfunction and impotence are common, common, common, so it’s important to remember that the mind is everyone’s primary sex organ. When any of us are stressed, depressed, or just frazzled, arousal can seem impossible! Our first recommendation is always don’t give up! Some studies have shown that when men self-pleasure, they often follow a tried and true routine. Believe it or not, that same old routine can be the cause of desensitization or just plain old boredom. Switch it up!! Also, if you’re coupled up, talk to your partner. Vulnerability alone can lead to new, exciting pathways to pleasure, but we can’t get there if we don’t talk about it. Whether solo or buddied up, here are some of Trystology’s favorites to keep you long, strong, and satisfied.

The perfect combo toy! The We-Vibe Verge is a prostate massager and a vibrating ring! It’s also remote controlled and blue-tooth enabled! Waterproof to boot! Perfectly contoured to stimulate the perineum during any activity.
It’s made from our new PLUS +SILICONE™ so it has the strength and stretch you need but the warmth and softness of smooth silicone.
Best of all, the super soft material makes for a comfortable fit and feel for hours of fun. 
BIG OX is so squishy and rubbery, it stretches to fit all shapes n’ sizes.
Super-soft, flexible and powerful, The Mio ring will keep him harder for longer, and give her intense external vibration during sex. Share stronger, longer, simultaneous orgasms with your partner using Mio.
* Waterproof
* Rechargeable
A comfortable and perfectly-fitting vibrating couple’s ring worn by men when making love, TOR™ 2 enhances the sensations of sex for both partners. The fully-waterproof design also features an easy-to-use control interface and 6 stimulation modes, always delivering the most thrilling sensations in bedroom play. As always with LELO, every TOR™ 2 comes in a beautiful gift box with satin storage pouch and full one-year warranty.
Intensify the pleasure for both of you with the best vibrating cock ring available.
Featuring a large, ergonomically shaped contact area for grinding against, and a raised nub to add pressure and stimulation, Atom Plus’ design means both partners can experience the powerful vibrations during penetrative sex.
Atom Plus is slipped over both the shaft and testacles in order to provide additional, intense perineum stimulation via its second integrated motor. 
Using the finest materials yet and cutting edge technology, TENGA is proud to present the latest in Male Pleasure Technology, the Flip 0 (Zero). Featuring the most intricate internal details yet, the Flip Zero provides amazing sensations and utilizes the pioneering “Flip-Open” design that makes cleaning the product fast and easy. The seamless insertion point provides the perfect seal, preventing lubricant leakage and forming a strong vacuum made possible the one-way valve. Easier to hold and use than the standard Flip Hole, the Flip Zero’s pressure pads are soft to the touch and allow for greater stimulation. The Flip Zero is also a great way to build stamina.

Happy Ending, We Hope!

Congrats, men, you made it to the end! We know some topics may have felt scary or uncomfortable to read, but we at Trystology encourage all men, and their lovers, to take their health seriously! The benefits of regular climaxing aren’t limited to the body, as they include the mind as well.  Orgasms provide a life enhancing elixir of oxytocin to manage stress, dopamine to encourage joy, prolactin for better sleep, and vasopressin to relieve pain. To the men in our lives, we love you, and want your life to match how incredible we think you are. You’re worth your pleasure, and we honor the healthy, sexy, you.

Also, um… got time for a quickie?!