Category Archives: Reviews

Into the Fray with Steak and a Blow Job Day!

Mmmkay, Trystologists, we’re talking about meals, oral sex, and ways to please a penis – all while wishing you, (or your partner), a Happy Steak and a Blow Job Day!

That is, if he took care of you this past Valentine’s Day, which is why this day falls on the 14th of March…

I think my real take away from researching this shenanigans – enough to write about it, at least – is something I’m pretty sure we all knew:

A lot of people like oral sex. Like… a lot.

So since we’re not wasting words here, let’s just get into it.

The History of Steak and a Blow Job Day:

This non-official holiday exists as the polarity to Valentine’s Day – a day for men to feel the kind of romance they desire. So… red meat and oral sex were meant to replace roses and chocolate! Men may have gotten the better deal here, ladies, but we’ll make up for it in April on Cake and Cunnilingus Day – also on the 14th.

And whereas the true origins of the day are unknown, Steak and a Blow Job day was popularized by Tom Birdsey in 2002. On air, Tom, a radio DJ, proposed a romantic reward day for men who made their partners feel extra loved on Valentine’s Day. It was initially seen as misogynistic holiday, yet the suggested celebration quickly resonated throughout Tom’s community, then across the US, and is now chuckled about world-wide.

How does one celebrate Steak and a Blow Job Day?

Well, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Everything you need to know to celebrate this day is in the name. You get some meat, (I’m sure vegan and vegetarian options still apply), you make it, then you do the deed! In other words, you fellate, provide oral sex, go down on your partner… or, give your dude a good, old-fashioned blow job!

Now, we know some people are squeamish about this topic, so we’re going to slow things down and discuss some stigma surrounding blow jobs, and oral sex, in general.

Oh, Oral …

For many of us, oral is more intimate than intercourse. It can be very exciting to have a partner go down on us, but there’s no way around it – someone’s getting a face full of nether-bits.

As givers, some of us fear we’re not doing it right, think it’s gross, worry about hygiene, or feel this act inherently makes us submissive. As takers, we can feel guilty or try to climax quickly to save our partners from jaw pain.

But here’s the deal, y’all! We’ve got to stress less about things that are meant to bring joy to our lovers and ourselves! Does that mean every partnership needs oral sex to be successful?

NO!

But I would argue that knowing what does it for your partner, oral or otherwise, and acting upon it is a crucially important aspect of an intimate partnership! Can it happen all the time? Well, no! But who doesn’t like feeling special, loved, or taken care?! And who doesn’t like seeing their loved one pleasured!?

Intimacy is actually defined as “familiarity, closeness and belonging.” That said, when we step out of our own fears, judgements, and sometimes comfort zones, we open ourselves up to experience new levels of partnered bliss.

So onto the main act…

How to give a great blow job:

So first things first, the best way to give your partner the oral sex of their dreams is by asking them how they like it!

Not all male members are the same, and I’m not talking about size here. What makes one erupt may leave another wanting more or less. So talk about it, and know that the conversation itself can be sexy. Really listen, and take care to apply.

Next, get some supplies! You may wanna grab a hair tie, some water, maybe a some fruity lube, and protection.

Now that you’ve had the sexy talk and you have your tools –

{Record Screech}

Hi, readers. This is the writer, and yes I know it’s odd to just jump in like this. But you see… we had to revise this article, LOL! To some of our readers, we know you may be bummed out. To others, you’re welcome, honestly. I write about some salacious stuff, and I blushed reading the original version of this.
Perhaps I did a little too much research.
I digress…
Even though the previously written article was explicit, it was accurate, and received rave reviews… but was more sexually explicit than other things within this blog. So instead of leaving the article as it was originally, we are
HOSTING A CLASS AT THE STORE!!
Yup, we’re holding a “How To: Oral Sex for Him” class this coming March 29th,
from 7-8:30pm!

Please sign up for our newsletters, via the website. We’ll be sending out announcements, and you’ll be able to buy tickets online! (We’re holding one for Him this March, and one for Her the April!)

Ready, set, BL – Oh, you get the point…

The time is here, and we’re ready for action, but let’s not rush things! Men are statistically more visual than their gender counterparts, so get sensual! Wear that lingerie, walk and move slow, and let him drink YOU in!

Every human body is hardwired with erogenous zones, and they span the entire length of the body from head to toe, fingertip to fingertip. So, make out! And land some sexy kisses along his neck, ears, chest, tummy, and inner thigh.

(We’re going to cover more of this in class. We’ll give specified tips and tricks, so if you’re interested, stay tuned…)

The Reveal

When you’ve teased your man enough, it’s time for business, but – don’t rush! Take your time as you remove clothing. You wanna stay loose, confident, and grounded, so let your fingertips feel his body as you take each article of clothing off.

Establish Some Rhythm

Especially if you are newer to this or feel timid, take things slow and shallow first, and don’t forget you have hands! Also, take a moment to assess comfortability. Do you need to adjust, or get comfy again? Need a drink of water? DO IT!!

Start slow, pay attention to his body language, and change up the pace at the beginning! Try slow for a while, then fast with a harder grip. Just one warning: watch those teeth! Some men do appreciate soft nibbling, but hard contact with a canine could send him through the roof. So be careful.

(Much more to this section in class, but these bits are major, so we thought we’d keep it in.)

The We-Vibe Tango X is the perfect bullet vibe for any type of play, but it can really take blow-job giving and receiving to another level! Just… come to class!

The Final Countdown

Alright, he’s probably squirming by grand finale time! You should be able to tell when he’s getting close by faster breathing, tensing muscles, and deeper moaning. If your guy seems shy, ask him to tell you when he’s about to climax.

…

Alright, folks. That’s where we are cutting it for this blog. If you’re curious, we hope to see you in our upcoming “How To: Oral Sex for Him” class this March 29th, from 7-8:30pm!

We haven’t held a class in ages, and seriously… a LOT of research went into this topic.

So grab a cocktail, and head into class on March 29th!

But first, we eat!

Now for the food!

What is Steak and a Blow Job Day without the steak?!

This is NO cooking blog, so we’re saving the recipes for the pros! And we know the day calls for steak, but we’ve included a vegan option too 😉

If you want a great steak, this guy knows what he’s talking about:

Looking for a vegan/vegetarian option?!

(I’ve heard this doesn’t taste like steak, but that it is absolutely fantastic!)

In conclusion

We hope this article was helpful. And if not helpful, funny.

If it was neither, well… better luck next time 😀

To all male member owners, pleasers, and handlers out there, we here at Trystology wish YOU a wonderful Steak and a Blow Job Day!

Bu-BYE!

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The Best Vibrators of Trystology’s Toy Chest ~ HOLIDAY EDITION!

Hi, Trystologists!!! It’s been far too long, and truth be told, we missed you! So much, in fact, we’re spilling all the goods about vibrators with:

The Best Vibrators of Trystology’s Toy Chest ~ Holiday Edition!!

Why the Holiday Edition, you ask? Because maybe, just maybe, Trystology has a reason other than ALL the holiday sales, and marketing, and “stuff, stuff, stuff!” to be posting one of these this week, so… why now?

Well, yes, the holidays are here. I state that without exclamation because a lot can go with “the holiday season,” can’t it? I normally enjoy the holidays greatly, and can still find this time overwhelming while constantly keeping me on my toes.

So whether we partnered or flying solo with bells on, how can we balance the Naughty and Nice list this season?

And to that, we say…

Have some great orgasms! Like, reeeeally great ones…

Plan your night around it, great. Wear lingerie for it, grreat. Wear nothing… YES! 😉

Let’s first set the holiday vibe for this “best of the toy chest…”

The best vibrators of Trystology’s toy chest can, yes, be used to get you there fast, but can also be used to delicately enhance, pleasure, or tease. Vibration is wonderful, and can enhance pleasure for anyone, accompanied or alone. Whether you’re the proud owner of any combination of the following: an anus, clitoris, g-spot, inguinal canals, labia, nipples, penis, perineum, prostate, testicles, vagina, vulva, or ANY OTHER EROGENOUS ZONE – vibration may be something that could, or already does excite your sex life!

Let’s also remember that not all vibration is made to do the same thing!

Some toys strongly buzz, some delicately tickle, some can power through denim jeans, while others rumble low and slow. Each is engaging our nerve network a little differently.

This is intentional! First, most of us need a little “warming up” to get in the mood, and right when we start our intimate encounters, things don’t usually need to be at full-blast on the bits, even if sparks are flying. That’s why most pleasure products, no matter their “type” of buzz, have some various settings and ranges. As a general rule of thumb, vibrators that sport more of a rumble are made to stimulate nerves deep within tissue. Rumbly vibrations permeate the top layer of skin, and are felt deeper within the body. Super buzzy vibrators, no matter how “high” or intense they’re set, activate the nerves directly underneath the skin – the surface level ones.

Some people need a lot to get “there.” Some don’t, and there’s no right or wrong to whatever method helps you most! As always, so long and consent and communication remain paramount and are safely revisited, the sky’s the limit for your pleasure and your orgasm, no matter what you like! Vibration can allow you to enjoy climaxing for longer, and can also empower you to watch your partner squirm. (Wet emoji)

If you actually read this far, congratulations, and even if you didn’t, (you rush in bed too, don’t you…), here’s the list!

The Best Vibrators of Trystology’s Toy Chest ~ HOLIDAY EDITION!

Get ready, babes, cuz this shit is organized. 😉

Feel the love. Feel it! Oooooooooh!

ALSO!!! The Best Vibrators of Trystology’s Toy Chest has SUB-SECTIONS!!! They are:

Tender – Sweet vibrating toys that tickle and tease, but won’t blow you away…

Trembling – These vibrators have range. Whereas a slow setting is available, this category also turns up the heat!

Turbo – Calling all power-tool seekers! This category is for you. If you KNOW your orgasm packs a punch, just look here. Mmmkay, Turbo? 😉

(Anyone else turned on by this organization? Or… is this just me?

I digress…)

Clitoral Vibrators

The buzz starts with the one and only human organ meant strictly for pleasure! Yes, the clitoris is truly in a league of it’s own. Much bigger than most people know, it could be said that the clitoris is the throne of the female orgasm. The visible part of the clitoris is located right under the clitoral hood above the vaginal opening, but the clitoris itself runs underneath the surface of the labia, and networks around the vagina like a boomerang. Clitoral arousal depends on intensity of blood-flow, similar to the erection of a penis.

Tender – We-Vibe – Touch X!

We-Vibe Touch X: There are so many beautiful clitoral vibrators on the market, but something we know is this… vibration there feels f*cking incredible for most women. Those are just the facts. Touch X is an easily held vibrator that has a wide, yet gently pointed tip. It’s perfect for massaging and teasing! It’s also a wonderful first vibrator! If you’re looking to explore your other erogenous zones, or your partner’s, give We-Vibe’s Touch X a whirl!

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Trembling – Dame – Kip

Dame – Kip: The Dame Kip is trembling because of it’s shape! This lil’ baby may not look like much, but this triangular shape makes it all kinds of fun. The low is actually low, which we here at Trystology find super appealing to many shoppers. However, it has a nice buzzy and rumbly high. The intensity of this tool comes from how lightly or heavily it is pressed into the skin. Waterproof? Yep. Fabulous? Mmmhmm.

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Turbo – Crave – Vesper

Crave – Vesper: Talk about the sneakiest lil’ vibrator you ever did see, Vesper can actually be worn as a necklace. You heard me… this is modern jewelry, babe. These vibes come in gold, rose gold, and silver, they’re a little longer than one inch, they are powerful, and best yet… they are silent. Shhhhh… Looking for some no-no on the go?! Actually though, here you go!

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Prostate Vibrators

Prostate stimulation can be, and is for many, a magnificent way to enhance the male orgasm. So… what’s the big deal, and how is this done?

Well, let’s put it this way… every human body is filled with nerve centers – many of which exist between the start of the perineum, (the area right behind the genitals on men, women, and non-binary individuals that extends to the anus), back to the anus, and yes, even inside the rectum itself. For obvious reasons, our human nature mandates that we are able to feel that area to monitor health concerns, but all individuals can achieve pleasure this way. Especially prostate owners.

When pressure or vibrators are applied to prostate, a more full orgasm can be achieved for it’s owner. The prostate is locate generally 3-5 inches inside of the rectum, and prostate owners can ejaculate from pressure here alone. Worth a try? We think so…

Pro-tip: LUBE. Lube, lube, lube. Lube. Got it?

Tender – Aneros – Helix Syn V

Aneros – Helix Syn V is our “first step” for prostate tools, and yes… this is arguable. There’s a reason we’re putting it on here. As far as girth is concerned, this is not a thick tool. This prostate vibrator is slender and made of hard silicone. Used with plenty of lube, we think this is a great place to start! The tool has natural ridges for exact contact with the prostate, and provides subtle vibration to the perineum. Charge, lubricate, insert, and explore a different side of the male orgasm!

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Trembling – We-Vibe Verge

Remember how we said at the very beginning not all vibration is created equal??

Well, here’s We-Vibe Verge, a very rumbly tool indeed. This testicular and perineum vibrator stimulates the prostate from the outside rather than the inside. This massager and ring has an opening large enough for both penis and testicles to feel most restraint! Bluetooth enable, this baby is a hands free ride for all to enjoy.

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Turbo – Lovense- Edge 2

Lovense – Edge 2 is a prostate powerhouse of a vibrator. Blast off with surround-sound vibration for Mr. Prostate. Vibration on the perineum, internal vibration, girth, girth, girth. Looking for a lot? Here’s your toy 😉

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All Aboard Non-Binary Station Vibrators!

There’s a reason we said any combination of erogenous zones! We don’t all exist within the binary, and as such, it’s important to showcase tools uniquely meant for all. We’ve set it here at Trystology, and we’ll say it again. Representation is important. Every body is blessed with nerve centers that can receive pleasure. In that, pleasure is our birth right, and the wider LGBTQIA+ community has only made the SEX community better, more colorful, and more pleasurable!

Not everyone likes shapes or sensations that resemble binary genitalia. This selection of vibrators, my loves, is for YOU!

Tender – We-Vibe – Tango X

Ever heard of a little thing called muffing? Well, all people have inguinal canals, located in the groin. For trans women especially, rumbly vibes to these canals can take orgasms to the next level! Interested? Click the link!

What sets the Tango X apart from other bullet vibrators is the length, the rumble, and the hard plastic. When going for harder to reach and tender areas, gradual pressure and smooth contact are important. (Even using fingers in this area if nails are untrimmed can be uncomfortable, so gentle until told otherwise. 😉 )

The Tango X is an all around great bullet vibe, and makes our “top” lists all the time. This is a very specific, yet very effective, use for this tool.

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Trembling – Je Joue – MiMi Soft Tip

Je Joue – MiMi Soft Tip is a wonderful, small tool that gets fierce on those higher settings. MiMi is easily travel-able, and great for pleasure all OVER the body. Inside of the thighs? Yep. Inner arm? Yep. Nipples? Mmm hmmm! The silicone Je Joue uses is silky, and so nice to touch!

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Turbo – LELO – Loki Wave

The Lelo – Loki Wave is a tool for all bodies, and reminds us all that despite our differences, we’ve basically all got the same general bits.

If we could look at male, female, and non-binary anatomies side by side, we would see that all of our parts come from the same pieces that develop when we’re in gestation. The g-spot and the prostate are generally in the same exact space. The functions of the clitoris and penis sexually are astonishingly similar. And toys like the Loki Wave just work. The throbbing internal piece can be inserted vaginally or anally. The sensually buzzy outer piece pleasures perineums and clitoris’s alike.

And this thing GOES!! Looking for Turbo? For girth? Something you KNOW is there??

Here you go, baby. Take Loki for a spin!

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Alright, readers… this is just the start!

Loving The Best Vibrators of Trystology’s Toy Chest ~ HOLIDAY EDITION!?

More to come by the end of the week… just in case you’re looking to shop this weekend!!

Upcoming best vibrators?? How about these categories?

COUPLES VIBRATORS ~ G-SPOT VIBES ~ TOP VIBRATORS OF 2022 ~ ANAL VIBRATORS

Tune in later this week. In the meantime, Trystologists, stay curious!

Wanna know more?? Follow us on Instagram and Facebook!

#Trystology #BestBoutique #Lelo_official #WeVibe #Aneros_Official #JeJoue_ #lovenseofficial #LoveCrave #DameProducts #OwnYourOrgasm #SexPositive #TheBestVibratorsofTrystologysToyChest #Vibrators #GoodVibrations #VibrationsforAll

Message us on Instagram!!

Sex, Aging… And Have I Lost My Mojo?

Ever heard the old saying, “Age is just a number?” Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no, right?

Welcome back to Trystology Talks, friends! In this article we’re exploring sex and aging – the facts and the myths, all while recognizing the unique journey each of us has walked. Some of us have adventured further along this path than others, and although it can be difficult watching ourselves change and transform as the years roll on, aging is something sacred that unites us all. Our wrinkles represent our pasts, and whether those wrinkles signify our children, our scars, our smiles or our pain, (or all of the above), they’re proof of the paths we’ve walked, and stories we’ve lived. So, does this aging mandate a specific time and place for a sorrowful goodbye to our sexual selves or intimate desires? Do we have to lose our mojo as we age? Simply put, not if we don’t want to!

Now, is there anything wrong with choosing to let it go? Not at all. But as we said before, we all have a unique journey within the skin we’re in. Some may feel completely satisfied without sexual desire in their lives after a certain point while others feel drawn to further exploring their sexuality until they bid they’re last farewell. Either way is perfectly fine, but our goal in writing this is to empower you with good information to choose for yourself!

No matter your age, your body is your first home. It is not separate from you, and fuels whatever life you choose to live. Please love it for everything it is, everything it does, and everything it has allowed and continues to allow you to experience. You. Are. Worth. It.

Always.

So let’s get down to brass tax. What happens to the body and our sexuality as we age?

Beyond age, even gender, the truth is we all share the same primary sex organ. The brain. Is it just a sex organ? We know, no. It orchestrates all bodily function, including aging and regulating our sexual organs.

As our brains age, certain hormone production slows, and that’s all part of life. Let’s face it – we don’t need to reproduce for our whole time here. This is why women experience menopause and men experience lower sex drive. But our ability or inability to reproduce need not dictate our choice to have orgasms as we age! The human orgasm is a cocktail beneficial to the body throughout our lives. Yes, it can boost the immune system. Yes, it can produce hormones providing easier access to joy and happiness. And yes, it can combat high cortisol levels throughout the body, lowering systemic stress, even relieving pain.

So what’s normal for each gender regarding sex and aging?

Women

Women can go through many changes as they age since their unique physiology is designed to house and birth life. A woman may experience changes in her vagina, which can shorten, narrow and become more stiff as the vaginal walls thin, especially if there has been a longer break in sexual activity. Whereas this may cause some painful intercourse, there are ways to navigate this. First, we at Trystology always recommend a water based lube, like Sutil Rich Body Glide, partnered with a simple vibrator. Even if you’ve enjoyed years of partnered bliss, the vibrator can act as a tool to help move lubricant up and around the vaginal wall, encouraging more supple tissue within. This practice can lead to less pain during intercourse, and honestly, boost your confidence that girl… yes you can still have an orgasm!

The Dame Arc is a perfect tool to re-awaken delicate vaginal tissue within. Sex and Aging Tip: Please use a water-based lubricant for insertion. We recommend Sutil, for it also contains hyaluron, the same component in hyaluronic acid that helps rebuild the skin’s surface… just within the vaginal canal 🙂

Also, many women at some point in their lives have either a partial or total hysterectomy. This can mean part of the uterus, the entire uterus, or the uterus and fallopian tubes and ovaries are removed. Does this mean the vagina is gone? No. The clitoris? No. Pleasure centers still exist, and whereas there may be some hormonal changes for sure, this doesn’t mean the end of a fulfilling intimate life with a partner, or solo. If this means hormone therapy for you, you may notice a surprising increase in sexual drive, and this is 100% normal. Our suggestion is with lube and a vibrator, get to know your pleasure centers again with confidence, and don’t write off pleasure if your body is craving more! And please, if these methods don’t work for you, consult your doctor to see what’s possible!

Men

Yes, as men age, some performance issues can arise, (and pssst, that’s normal and okay!). Impotence can be a very real struggle for men, and not just sexually. It can impact a man’s confidence and the way they view themselves throughout their daily lives. Herbal supplements or medications can prove to be helpful, but our first suggestion is this – have the courage to get to know your body again. Some men benefit from using rings, commonly known as “cock rings,” to restrict blood flow within the penis, aiding in longer lasting erections. Some rings also provide vibration to the perineum, which stimulate the prostate from the body’s exterior. Vibration on the penis itself can help with arousal, often times best if low and rumbly. Also, to keep a healthy p-spot, men can use toys designed to stimulate the prostate internally! We know this method isn’t for everyone, but can really boost your overall prostate health and the quality of your orgasm.

The We-Vibe Vector is a perfect tool to explore sex and aging in men. It provides different sensations on the testicles and perineum while adding constriction to the penis – and for the brave of heart, the testicles too!. The entire mechanism vibrates, giving pleasure to any partner looking to saddle up.

Similar to women, some men require surgeries as they age, specifically procedures known as prostatectomys. This surgery is performed to remove the prostate all together, but again, this does not mean a fulfilling sexual life is no longer within reach. If you have questions, check in with yourself first. If the methods stated above don’t work for you, ask your doctor! Theres simply no shame in scheduling an appointment to boost your overall ability to love the skin you’re in.

Our Non-binary Fam

Like I said at the top of the article, sex and aging unite us all. I’ll be frank – the information regarding aging within the non-binary community is specialized. I want to encourage each of you to love the body you’re in, and I want to provide good information for you to do so! This knowledge is admittedly outside of my wheelhouse, but I did find some great information for you to review! Please check out this pdf full of great info, and let us know what you think.

—>Trans Issues Later In Life <—

Is there truth to “use it or lose it?”

Great question! When anyone goes without intimate pleasure for a period of time, whether that’s two weeks, a month, or multiple years, the body and mind can enter a state of sexual hibernation. This may make the idea of sex seem uninteresting, or just out of reach completely. While this hibernation is a normal response to lack of sex, it can cause rifts in our minds and within our relationships. Does this mean we have to give up? No. We can always come back to our sensual selves, it just may take some effort! In our youth, we are often driven by our sexual needs, and as we age, especially within long-term relationships, we sometimes need to transition from being driven to driving by choice. There can be slow and sweet ways of going about this by simply adding more intimacy into our relationship. Intimacy doesn’t mandate sex – ever. Intimacy for you could be holding hands more often, enjoying walks together, kissing, even snuggling. Re-establishing physical closeness can be a crucial element of keeping our love alive!

To everyone out there, young and young at heart, thank you. Thank you for reading, and thank you for exploring the ways you can love the skin you’re in, no matter your age. Regardless of where we are along this journey of life, its important to check in with ourselves to determine what’s right for us in any given moment. Along this path of sex and aging, we wish you luck, love, and pleasure.

As always, we at Trystology encourage you to Own Your Orgasm! At every age 😉

To stay up to date, please follow us on Instagram @Trystology! We’re here for you, and welcome your feedback, questions, and support!

A Valentine’s Sneak Peek of Trystology’s Top-10 Toys!

Hello readers, and welcome back to Trystology Talk Valentine’s edition, part two! We are kicking off Valentine’s weekend with a list of our Top-10 Toys, so if you’re new, lucky you!

Trystology started this “Month of Love” with a simple challenge. You were all invited to somehow prioritize yourselves every day for two weeks, all to prepare for authentic time spent with the ones you love this Valentine’s Day! Our question? How did that go? Would you say it was… easy?

If you did we’re jealous, because prioritizing ourselves wasn’t easy at all! Life moves fast and the truth is, in order to have quality alone time, we have to make it. There were days my only quality time was a thoughtful cup of tea. However, I also found pockets of time throughout the week where I could set time for myself more often. Easy? No. Worth it? You bet! So in light of our collective “ah-ha” moment, we have an idea!

This may sound bold, but after all this quality time reprioritizing the relationship with ourselves, Trystology wants to re-invent Valentine’s Day!

Maybe instead of roses or chocolates for just one day, we could dedicate time to ourselves whenever possible, (especially in February), to better appreciate those closest to us year-round. And yes, we have the ability to make that process sensual! Life is so multi-dimensional, and when we stay connected to ourselves, we can connect honestly with the ones we love! It is feasible to live our busy lives, and introduce romantic escapades, quality time, and even toys to our partners with fierce confidence as ourselves! It’s simply all about making the time.

And here’s a little secret – when we know what we like alone, we’re better equipped to excel in partnered bliss!  

So here it is, the wait is over! We proudly present Trystology’s Top-10 Toys, and wish you and your partner quality time… together!

#1 – Bondage Sets

You may be asking why we started here. Does it vibrate? Nope. Mandate penetration or aggression? Also noooooo! Bondage is all about taking something away to heighten something else, and yes, this comes in varying degrees. It requires consent above all else, because bondage is meant to aid in vulnerability as opposed to ever causing harm to another individual. And whereas flogging, restraints, ball-gags and blindfolds can seem scary, the true benefit of these tools isn’t defined by how brutally they’re used. The measure of their benefit exists within the deep intention of their use. 

As a quick example, let’s explore blindfolds! When we blindfold our partners, or allow them to blindfold us, we invite a heightened level of focus to our sensual experience. The human body is so attuned to knowing our surroundings that when one sense is removed, or hindered, the others heighten! Blindfolds, and other bondage tools, can give couples the opportunity to reconnect and rediscover each other, sweety with some spice so nice. Here are our favorite sets, but we also sell blindfolds galore! Take a browse. 

Top Shelf! Zalo and Upko – Luxurious and Romantic Bondage Kit: This set is luxury, gorgeous, and gilded with gold detail. If you’re seeking sexy Victorian glam, look no further!

#1 Top Ten Toys

Best Value! Rianne S Kinky Me Softly Bondage Set: This set is easy to pack up and doesn’t break the bank!

#2 – Liberator Wedge Pillows

I’d like to ask delicately if you’ve ever been in an intimate position that was
 um
 difficult to hold? Perhaps, unsteady? Maybe kinda awkward? Well, we all need some cushion for the pushin’ sometimes, and Liberator products are here to save you! We picked the Liberator Wedge Pillows as #2 on our list because of just how much comfort, control, and depth of sensation they provide couples by positioning them comfortably. These pillows are specifically designed to support backs while lifting the goods! They come in cute designs, they’re discrete, they’re strong, super durable, and they help! 

#2 Top Ten Toys

Honestly, just please get one! Please! You will not regret it, we promise!

#3 – Hot Octopus Atom Plus

One of the hardest questions any of us get in the shop is, “What is the best toy?!” The question usually accompanies hopeful eyes. The truth is we all have a different answer because every body is unique. To us, vibrating toys are defined by their type of vibration. As our long-time readers know, not all vibration is created equal! It’s just not. Some rumble, some buzz, some flicker, and all feel great to different people! Hot Octopus products sport a both rumbly and fast vibration all at once, and their Atom Plus does not disappoint.

#3 Top Ten Toys

This tool provides restriction to the penis, vibration to the testicles, and equal vibration to anyone enjoying the ride! The silicone is beautifully made, and my favorite part of this tool is the width of vibration for that cowgirl in you! Even though the Atom Plus is classified as a “cock-ring”,  it’s perfectly designed to vibrate the entire clitoral network of the rider.   

#4 – We-Vibe Moxie

We-Vibe products always find a way into our top recommendations for good reason! Their silicone is supple and smooth, and the vibration varies from low to strong seamlessly. We put the Moxie at #4 on our list because of how flirty it is! Looking to be a tease, or just teased? The We-Vibe Moxie snaps onto the panty-line with a durable magnet. Once in place, pull up those big girl panties and buzz around! You can keep the remote for a sneaky self-pleasured day, or surrender the controls to someone you love!

#4 Top Ten Toys

 

If you’re craving a fun date night, and have or love a clitoris, this toy turns up the heat for a steamy night’s end. 

Trystology Tip: While not all women require clitoral stimulation to achieve climax, most do. And not for, like, a few seconds either. The fact is, it takes a lot of women up to 40 minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm, and tools like this, teasing like this, can help clitoral companions get there faster!  

#5 – Aneros Syn V

We’re talking booty, boo! Ah, the Aneros Syn V. Full disclosure, if we were making a list strictly about anal play, men’s health, or orgasms by direct prostate engagement, this tool would be #1. The Aneros Syn V is designed to vibe directly on the prostate by way of the anus. The silicone is smooth, yet hard, for a steady, strong vibration that won’t quit. 

#5 Top Ten Toys

But Trystology
 aren’t there implications to finding anal stimulation pleasurable? What if I’m
 straight? 

Well, it’s one thing if anal play isn’t your thing, but men find internal stimulation pleasurable because there’s a lot of nerve endings down there, period. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it! Better yet, internal stimulation with the prostate can cause much more intense orgasms for men while ensuring a fully emptied prostate. Health!

#6 – We-Vibe Tango X

So nice, We-Vibe made it on Trystology’s top ten toys twice! The We-Vibe Tango X is a very versatile tool. It has a rumbly vibration that goes from a steady low to a decent high. The glory of this tool is not in it’s crazy power, however. Rumbly vibrations penetrate the skin, pleasuring deeper nerves, so the Tango X provides pointed vibration for full body chills.

#6 Top Ten Toys

It’s also one of the longest bullet vibrators on the market. It’s a ‘choose-your-own-adventure’ bullet, and we approve!

#7 – Rianne S Plugs

The Rianne S Plugs made #7 on our list for all the right reasons! Even if this type of play makes you squeamish, please read!!

In our humble Trystology opinion, plugs don’t get the credit they deserve, but we understand why! This type of pleasure can seem really intimidating at first! I’ve said it in previous articles, and I’ll say it again
 I don’t know you, but say you were standing in front of me, minding your business peacefully. Then, out of nowhere, I lunged at you. I guarantee your sphincter would pucker! Don’t act like it wouldn’t! 

When we are afraid, we tense! And anal play, when done incorrectly, can be incredibly uncomfortable. However, when done correctly, (by ensuring trust, consent and optimal arousal, using lube, relaxing, etc), anal play can take any sex life to the next level! These plugs made our top ten toys list because they can stimulate prostates just as effectively as they can stimulate g-spots! 

#7 Top Ten Toys

Rianne S. uses very soft silicone, and provides sets to steadily graduate the size of your plug if you want, and at your pace. They also offer gold metal plugs, allowing more advanced users to explore internal pressures and temp variations. And they’re so cute!

#8 – SpareParts Joque Harness

Here at Trystology, we completely understand the importance of finding a good harness. Strapping up can be so fun, so empowering, so intimate, but if the harness isn’t secure and comfortable, fully embracing your sexy self can be tough. So without further ado, we introduce the Joque Harness to our top ten toys list!

#8 Top Ten Toys

At #8, the SpareParts Joque Harness ensures the security you need for the passionate play you crave. The O-Ring is interchangeable, giving the wearer options regarding dildo sizes. Our favorite part of this harness is the sneaky pocket, perfectly made for bullets or vibes, so the wearer can give and receive. 

#9 – Vixen Creations Maverick VixSkin – Tie Bright

We can’t say enough good about VixSkin products, and since they’re here at #9, we’re thrilled to tell you why. The silicone used to create VixSkin dildos is supreme! These products are smooth yet sturdy, and beautifully shaped for thoroughly enjoyed fullness! And that’s not all


#9 Top Ten Toys

Sure, a nice, realistic dildo is great, and this company creates many, but they also create products on the wild side
 and this is important! Let’s face it! Some people love penises, real in all of their splendor, and others don’t! We picked this beautiful Tie Bright design to showcase a beautiful dildo that doesn’t take itself so seriously! If you’re looking for fullness, a smooth feel, and some delightful fun, the Maverick Tie Bright is one of our favorites!

#10 – An Authentic, Well-Taken Care of YOU!

#10 YOU!

We know this last one is cheeky, but authentic love requires all of you! Even if no toys ever make their way to your partnered or un-partnered bedroom, your creativity, desire, and presence will always belong to you. We at Trystology encourage you to foster relationships which encourage you to cultivate, renew, and remind yourself of the love you crave, and the life you strive to lead! This especially includes your relationship with yourself! Share that authentically!

“But Trystology, we’re busy!” Yeah, yeah, we are too. We’re not saying that here in 2022, it’s simple to make time for ourselves, our partners, or our passions. We’re just saying it’s necessary. So this Valentine’s Day, give the gift of time. Time to yourself and those you love doesn’t happen by magic. Like all things in life, these things happen when we plan for them. So plan to live a smile-worthy life! And start today!

Oh… and please, please make time for your orgasm. Own it! Self-love is the gift that keeps on giving, and Trystology wishes you and your partner abundance, joy, connected intimacy, and a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

Trystology would like to say a special thank you to AVN!!!!

AVN, (The Adult Video Network), has nominated Trystology as 2022’s Best Boutique!! In the NATION!! We don’t know how well you know the industry, but this is a HUGE HONOR!

First, congratulations to our very own Roylin Downs! None of this is possible without you, and you have uplifted your staff along with your community. You’ve changed our lives, enabling us to give the love you teach. Thank you, Roylin <3


And to our loyal customers, new and old, this really isn’t possible without you! We strive to give you the best only as a reminder that you deserve the best. Because you do, in all areas of your life! But only if you believe it.

We know you’re worth it, always! And we love you, Valentine! <3

Trystology’s Hunting For Treasure This Valentine’s Month!

The kind within, not without. You’ve just been invited to a self-love treasure hunt!

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I know writers have written about love for centuries, but these wise words from Paulo Coelho jumped off the page when I first read The Alchemist. They immediately sparked the thought, “Pssst! Yes, excuse me, but
 has anyone seen my heart?! I need to find my treasure
 now!!”

And it’s always right where I left it
 on the inside.

Trystology Talk is back, and here to ring in this month of L-O-V-E with a Pre-Valentine’s Day self-love treasure hunt!

Your challenge, if you dare to accept, is no simple task! Team Trystology invites you to join us as we relocate, recalibrate, and renew our hearts to properly assess how they’re functioning and impacting our lives.

Our goal?

To love authentically!

And look, I’m not saying the way you love now isn’t wonderful! I’d imagine you’re like most of us – great sometimes, while lacking others. That’s normal! However, the better we assess our own emotional needs, the more understanding we have of ourselves and others. We learn to love deeper. Isn’t it true? Anytime we deeply look into ourselves, we recognize just how complex this human experience really is. In all that vastness, you too deserve love. Behind your eyelids, you deserve your own love.

Sounds great, I know
 but what is love?!

(Baby, don’t hurt me!… Look, you’d think it if I didn’t write it, and if you don’t get it, enjoy your youth…)

Theoretically, I’m not qualified to answer this question. Scientifically I’m not either, but the emotion of love is primarily governed by the brain chemical, oxytocin. Oxytocin is produced upon orgasm, yes, but more specifically, it’s also the chemical that makes us feel attached to our friends, families, and partners. It combats stress by regulating cortisol levels in the body, proving a happy life is in fact a healthier one too!

Remember, though, we said challenge, and in order to find our treasure, we have to look within.

Isn’t it interesting how much our minds wander, from the past to the future, while our bodies and hearts remain restricted by this present moment? Sometimes we get caught in the race of life and forget we need our own attention too! Our health and well-being depend on it!

So, your challenge is this:

Go to your calendar, you’re embarking on Trystology’s Self-Love Treasure Hunt!! For the next 14 days, you must do something for yourself and OWN IT! Every. Day. It could be a bath. Perhaps a meditation or a yoga routine. Maybe it’s a walk, or a quiet moment to enjoy a hot coffee. Could be a song, or a new playlist dedicated to yourself. We recommend including time to self-pleasure! Whatever resonates with you, (and feasibly makes sense as an addition to your life), set reminders on your phone to follow through, all the while keeping your intention clear. This time is meant to ask yourself what you need right now, without judging the response.

I know this self-love treasure hunt isn’t easy, because on January 15th, Trystology began a 21-day challenge highlighting our gorgeous, and my new favorite, Chakrubs collection. These authentic crystal tools vary in shape and design, and benefit anyone seeking an intentional and natural addition to their sensual lives. Chakrubs features the discrete Slim, the full Original, the powerful Curve, and one of the oldest passion products known to women – the yoni egg.

Chakrubs genuine gem products come in nephrite jade, rose quartz, amethyst, black obsidian, quartz, and rhodonite. They are only safe when inserted vaginally, but can comfortably remain inside of the body for multiple hours. Once in, the egg acts as a weight for the vaginal wall to both squeeze and birth. They add intention to meditation, and make for a pleasant, gentle reminder to do your Kegels! (<— Mayo Clinic link, and worth a read!)

Trystology tip, please don’t disregard!: When seeking your yoni egg, or any crystal products meant for internal use, please find manufacturers who guarantee safety. Some crystals and stones are porous, leaving room for bacteria to grow. We provide Chakrubs tools because they’re ethically sourced, and made for internal pleasure. Just check their FAQ’s!

I’ll be honest – this challenge has been harder than I thought.

All of the Chakrubs products have an optional journal, and each prompt is deep. For instance, right here and now, what are you birthing into this world? Or this – what most often keeps you from accomplishing your goals? And maaaybe those are simple for you, but as a mid-challenge report, I’m frustrated how difficult it is to prioritize time for myself! But I’m also hopeful. Slowly, day after day, I am getting closer to my treasure.

Stay tuned for our final challenge updates. In the meantime, turn your internal compass toward your heart, and walk with us. Again, set reminders on your phone to do something for you. It might not be easy, but it’s worth it.

Happy Hunting! Treasure awaits!

For updates on the challenge, please follow us on Instagram!! @trystology

Your Orgasm, Your Pleasure… OWN IT THIS YEAR!

To all of our readers, followers, clients and friends, Trystology wishes you a joyfully kind, abundantly healthy, and sensually loving, Happy New Year!! 

Trystology here, as always, to encourage you to find the pleasure you deserve in your relationships, bodies, and lives throughout the new year! With 2021 in the rearview and 2022 ahead, how can we inspire the world and ourselves, even having gone through such awe-striking shifts? We are all people changed, yet we still can find ways to smile and enjoy our lives. Jobs are different. However, joy and heartache together make deeper capacities for love!

Here’s the thing
 I think there’s a reason Trystology has succeeded through this pandemic. By encouraging people to find the pleasure they deserve!

I think we’ve exposed a wide community to self-care on levels we never thought possible. We all know so
 we’ve seen it! We’ve seen women tear up, made non-binary people feel beautiful. All of us have had amazing conversations with great couples while empowering individuals and families. Trystology connected with a non-profit organization who resonated with us, (The Coalition For Family Harmony! We love you!), and we went Live on Instagram together! We’ve truly moved a needle very few organizations are able to even budge
 at all! 

We are all, also, a group of women who share, dream, and create together. All while recognizing the feminine power we hold for each other. 

I somehow want this blog to be about empowerment and manifestation, and how a sexual practice, whether alone or partnered, can be a creative and effective way to manifest the life you want! 

I know times can feel tough, but collectively, this is what we at Trystology are doing for our community, isn’t it? And it’s working. We are for real
 touching lives in very crazy times. 

The world is becoming exposed, because guess what?! We should ALL feel free to express exactly who we are! And know deep aspects as gems for ourselves too. That these don’t have to be separate things!

We have so much to celebrate this year. And somehow, we want our community to be encouraged to make the same magic in their lives too.

You know, I’ve never personally been a fan of resolutions, but in honor of this year, we pose one.  Own your orgasm this year!  Seriously! Own it!!!

This past year has been a lot for any brain to take on – and if you’ve followed us for any time, you may know that the brain is the biggest sex organ!

Not the genitals
  An orgasm is a unique reflex governed by the brain, expressed through the genitals, that releases a unique cocktail of dopamine (pleasure, desire, motivation), oxytocin (the bonding hormone), prolactin (satisfaction), and vasopressin (pain relief). Once climax is achieved, the brain itself slows down, and we’re left happy, sleepy, and relaxed. This cocktail also combats cortisol, our body’s alarm system made by the kidneys to help us run from danger.

What causes too much cortisol these days?

Stress!  Overwork!  And Judgements we might carry with us
 from whatever source you trust
 So our advice is to make time for YOU! Self Care, and self pleasure!  Here at Trystology we promote an orgasm-a-day. Are we saying regular climaxing is a fix all? No. But give this a try:

Find a quiet moment alone. Close your eyes, and see yourself and the fully realized you, then see if you can use your orgasm to become more and more of that. Make it a practice, and see what happens. Because we’re here to tell you this – beauty, wealth, success, blah, blah, blah – those things don’t validate you, or make you sexy. Authenticity, and perhaps a little self pleasure
 that, however, does.

As you encourage yourself to find the pleasure you deserve this year
 come as you are.

Take a look at yourself, and say proudly, “I am the only me! The same creative force that made mountains, oceans, stars and trees made me! And deep within me, that same creativity pulses. I am the Queen of my body, or the King of my soul! I own my orgasm!”

Wear the skin you’re in proudly, and let it become your home. Know, deep within, that superficiality does not validate you. Your heart, soul, uniqueness and owning your pleasure does.

To our regular readers and shoppers, thank you. Without you, none of this is possible! 

Shout out to our vagina owners!

Trystology is hosting a 30 day challenge to further encourage you to find the pleasure you deserve this year!

This may look like a quail egg, but it’s not. It’s one the oldest vaginal tools in the world, called the yoni egg, one of the many products created by Chakrubs. The yoni helps keep the vaginal wall tight, which in turn, strengthens our orgasm, while others have penetrative girth. The challenge, if you so choose to take it, is to use these gorgeous crystal tools  to encourage you to find the pleasure you deserve throughout the new year! It’s a personal 21-day devotion to self. Take a deep dive into the comprehensive four-phase workbook developed by Founder Vanessa Cuccia, designed to support you in making your Chakrubs practice a habit that enriches every area of your life.

Create a deep, transformative relationship with your Chakrub, awaken your erotic potential and be supported by practical tips like how to introduce yourself to your Chakrub, different ways to energetically cleanse your Chakrub, how to ask for and receive guidance from your Chakrub, internal and external massage techniques, and more! 

Please follow us on Instagram! The challenge starts January 15th, so stay tuned there, and get your Chakrubs while supplies last!

To Toy Or Not To Toy

That is the question, isn’t it?

Welcome back! Trystology here to celebrate National Sex Toy Day! Yes, November 4th is actually National Sex Toy Day across the nation, and we assure you, this isn’t just an excuse to sell toys. Honestly, the toys do that for themselves. To us, National Sex Toy Day is an opportunity to encourage everyone to further explore the skin they’re in… because they deserve to!

In fact, have you ever asked yourself why this store exists in the first
place?

Well, community, for those who don’t know her, and even for those who do, allow us to introduce our fearless leader, Roylin Downs! As a business owner, real estate professional, mother, wife, and incredible example of how to
live a full and happy life, she constantly inspires all those who work for Trystology to reach for the stars. Oh, and yes… she actually lives by the philosophy of having a daily orgasm. And whereas sexuality has always been a passion of hers, toys are a newer addition to her life than you might think! She, like many others, was curious about using them, and liked
the idea, but what if someone saw her purchasing a toy? How would she face the
embarrassment of walking into an uncomfortable store? And what would people
think?!

Statistically, the chances this resonates with you are very high. Seriously! We hear it all the time. And this is where we, as a collective, come face to face with our overarching discomfort with how we got here in the first place! I’ll try to whisper this
softly, as not to offend…

SEX! SEX! SEX!

You. Are Here. Because. Of SEX! But societally, we don’t really want to talk about it. Least of all, give ourselves open permission to enjoy the creative process sex can provide, which one can surmise, may be one root of why ANY creation in our lives labeled “worth while,” must involve ultimate struggle and stress in order to validate itself. Doesn’t make a lot sense when you think about it, does it?

But why?

Historically speaking, it could be for a lot of reasons. Trauma? Sometimes. Lack of understanding/inner-standing? Usually. Suffering from bad information? Almost always. To toy or not to toy confronts our discomfort with sex, or bigger yet ourselves, head on. And for this holiday, we want to let you know this – more than having sexual organs, you have a nervous system! Think of your nervous system as the body’s general manager, and then think of what happens when your boss is grumpy 24/7. Do you like going to work under these circumstances? Probably not… (And if you do, you might be into some lovingly painful play! Let’s just say we have an entire section of our store just for you!)

Jokes aside, our brains and nervous systems do a lot! They keep us alive, and deserve a break every so often. Pleasure, whether it be a smile, snuggles, laughter, a warm bath, or a great orgasm, is essential to a life well lived. In not discussing our sexuality, we negate the importance of consent, and the grace of knowing what we like and what we don’t! After all, orgasms are actually good for you. Same as broccoli, or walking, or having healthy relationships can benefit a life in moderation, so can pursuing healthy and safe sexual pleasure. The biochemical composition of orgasms can help combat depression, boost our immune systems, and increase our everyday confidence! But no one feels shame about eating broccoli, so what’s the deal?

I digress…

Once upon a party, Roylin purchased her first toy.

She wasn’t comfortable entering the typical sex shop, but felt fine attending a party amongst friends. To her surprise, she wasn’t the only women there who felt this way! Statistics show many women still have no clue what their orgasm even feels like, if they’ve had one, or how to replicate the few they’ve had! We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, everyone’s major sex organ is their brain, and in order to orgasm, that GM must give the body permission. However, vibrators and other toys can quickly bypass the system, allowing our unique orgasms to reveal themselves. Rumbly coaxing, if you will. This realization, that so many women feared, dismissed, or felt ashamed of their pleasure, was the driving force behind Roylin’s creation of Trystology. Twelve years later, it exists as a monument and zocalo for all people to revel the skin they’re in.

Now, are we saying that in order to orgasm, you must have a toy?

Not at all! In fact, if toys just aren’t your thing, yet you know how to get yourself there in other ways, more power to you! We support that! But if you’re still wondering how to get yourself there, or want to spice things up, toys can be incredibly useful and fun. And you shouldn’t feel any guilt or shame for authentic desires you have, so long as consent is involved. Our goal here at Trystology is simply to provide you with options and tools you might not have thought of.

Now what kind of National Sex Toy Day would this be if we didn’t suggest a couple of beginner and user friendly tools to practice with?

This month we’re highlighting We-Vibe’s Tango X, and the Zalo Bess!

The We-Vibe Tango X is one of the best toys to boost anyone’s big moment.

It was designed to be just a bit longer than other bullets, and has a unique rumble that permeates deep into the skin. As a little side note, not all vibration is created equal. Some toys have a high, buzzy vibration, while other have a lower rumble. The higher, buzzy toys stimulate nerves on the skin level, but toys with more bass penetrate the skin. So because this bullet has a more rumbly vibe, it’s perfect for prostate stimulation, g-spot play, and a full body teasing. The vibrations are not too intense, either. We Trystologists classify this toy as a medium vibration. To toy or not to toy? This is a great first purchase to figure that out for yourself.

Zalo Bess is a store favorite, and very popular with our female clientele!

Bess has two motors – one for a pinpointed clitoral stimulation, and the other to power a discrete dildo on the opposite end… did we mention it’s gorgeous!? We recommend this toy as a starter due to it’s incredible versatility, and it’s undeniable benefit as a couple’s toy. Bess comes with three separate attachments for the clitoral side – a small silicone cap to spread the surface of vibration, a nipple stimulator, and a g-spot wand. It has a low, medium, and high level of vibration along with a pulsing, waving, and steady setting. Looking to spice things up? This tool is about five toys in one, which is precisely why we highly recommend it for anyone looking to explore. This tool works well with water-based lube, or oil. Please… no silicone lube on this baby. She’ll break! 

In short, ‘to toy or not to toy’ is not why Trystology exists…

Trystology is here, and will be for years to come, to provide safe space and permission for all looking to explore their pleasure by owning their orgasms. That general manager within, our brain, does need stress relief. And however you find it, we hope you remember to smile all while loving the skin you’re in. Our bodies are not meant to be judged, shamed, bullied, or worked to the bone. They are our homes, and will be for our entire lives. Trystology tip – enjoy every moment you can. You’re so worth it. In case you forget, we’re here to remind you again and again!

To our community, we love you, and thank you for making this place possible. May we all feel blessed and deserving of the beautiful skin we’re in!

Ring, Ring! Calling All Bootys!

Calling all bootys, calling all bootys!

This is your annual Trystology check-up, making sure your rear is in the clear for National Anal Health and Awareness Month. Yes, it’s August, and this month is all about the booty. Don’t worry, no gloves or turning your head to cough is necessary 
 unless it is, in which case we encourage you to visit your doctor before stopping here.

Instead, we’ve decided to celebrate the month by digging deep to give you the goods on the taboo topic of anal pleasure for her, him, and them. Take a seat, a deep breath and get comfortable as we demystify and openly discuss the intimate, pleasurable, and yes, normal, act of anal sex.

Tense already?

Let’s start by getting to the bottom of some major misunderstandings surrounding this issue. Anal sex, although gaining in popularity between couples of all genders, is not new to humanity, is not dirty, and does not make anyone wrong for enjoying it. Nor does reveling confidently in booty play define your sexual preference in partners. Right now, we’re talking about anatomy. The fact is every human being has millions of pleasure providing nerve-endings in and around their A-Spot, and this ecstasy, for some, can actually support better health and wellness.

Also, if anal play is strictly not your thing, that’s fine too! We’re all different, as we should be. Reminder: we all share more similarities than differences. We all have beating hearts, hopes, desires, bootys, and share the same major sex organ – the brain. In order to enjoy any sexual act, communication and consent together reign as king and queen of this jungle.

Oh, and one more thing…

Here at Trystology we always promote safe sex. If you’ve been blessed with long-term relational bliss, the call is yours, but condoms are always encouraged when entering the back door.

Feeling better? There here we go


But the butt’s an exit only, right?

More like exit and. Yes, one of the biggest fears with anal play is, I’ll say it, poo, which just isn’t a sexy thing to discuss. To both the timid and the tigers, when done correctly, this issue can be avoided. Now, we all have tummy issues sometimes. If booty play is something you’ve pondered, your first try might not be on a bloated or gassy day.

Trystology tip:

Day of, you might want to avoid dairy or any flatulent prone foods like beans or broccoli. Also, stress itself can make the stomach bubble, so above all else, relax and get your head out of the game.

Um, won’t anal pleasure
 hurt?

Lube, lube, lube, my dudes. The anus, unlike the vagina, does not lubricate itself. Safe anal pleasure requires lubrication, protection and when used, can level up any orgasm. However, as stated above, stress can be a major pain here too. When our bodies are stressed or feeling fear, we brace for emotional, and yes physical, impact. Clenching due to stress can make this experience more painful than need be. Getting the brain to calm is a major must.

Trystology tip:

Relax, and go slow. No one is running a race here, and pornography can be incredibly misleading. Even the best porn stars in the game need to warm up for anal play, so let romance and sensuality be your friends. Maybe try a warm bath to clean and calm your tush before the push.

Also, not all lubes are created equally!! Lubricants vary from silicone based, water-based, hybrids, and oils, all of which are safe for anal sex. However, silicone lubes are not made for toys. I repeat, silicone lubes are NOT for toys. The medical grade silicone used for many toys can break down when slathered in some silicone lubes, so don’t break your expensive toys! Water-based and oil lubricants are safe for toy use, so you decide.

Here are Trystology’s top-selling lubricants of every kind:

Uberlube is a premium silicone lubricant free of parabens and other harsh chemicals. Versatile, Uberlube may be used for sex, massage, anti-frizz, and anti-chafing. Formulated with only the highest quality silicone and fragrance-free, Uberlube is perfect for sensitive skin. Weightless in consistency, waterproof, and never sticky, it is easy and comfortable to use. Artfully packaged in a non-porous glass pump bottle and safe to use with rubber latex, silicone, plastic, glass, and metal toys.
Luxurious, long lasting, water based lubricant. It’s made with herbal formulations and an eco-friendly biodegradable bottle for environmentally conscious users. The luxe formula contains a stimulating combination of ingredients (horny goat weed and ginseng) to help increase blood flow to applied areas for longer lasting and increased performance. Sold in multiple sizes from 2oz to 8oz for increased fun!

Formulated for more comfortable anal pleasure, this is the first silicone based lubricant that contains jojoba extract. The jojoba relaxes the skin and anal muscles, but does not desensitize or numb. It’s long lasting, no messy clean-up, contains extra-moisturizing hyaluronan, and is latex condom safe.
All natural Bisabolol extract from the chamomile plant makes this the perfect silicone glide for relaxing anal sex. It has been used for hundreds of years in skin remedies because of its skin healing and muscle relaxing properties. Bisabolol is known to have anti-irritant, anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial properties.
Coconut oil based lubricant by Coconu! Personal moisturizer also works very well as a massage oil. Long lasting formula protects and heals dry skin creating a lasting slippery effect. Made with USDA certified organic coconut oil.

Can anal play stimulate the P-Spot and the G-Spot?!

Yup! Sure can. Anal play is pleasurable for vagina owners, penis owners, and anyone in between. If P-Spot and G-Spot are unfamiliar terms, the P-Spot refers to the prostate, located two to three inches inside the anus of cisgender men. It is stimulated with a finger, buzzy toy, dildo or penis. Why is it pleasurable? Because it provides direct contact with the prostate, and encourages a complete ejaculation, which can lead to you or your partner’s strongest orgasm yet. The prostate will get larger, or feel spongy, upon stimulation, and this type of pleasure can induce an orgasm with or without an erection. Start gently, communicate, and enjoy the ride as this orgasm can be most intense for penis owners.

Trystology Tip:

The second most common type of cancer in the U.S. is that of the prostate. We don’t say this to scare anyone. In fact, here’s some information which may ease your mind, and bits. Harvard found that prostate owners were less likely to develop cancerous cells when their prostates emptied fully, and regularly. Anal play for him/them can actually support longer and stronger sexual health.

Here are some P-Spot tools to fit any bottomline:

  • Lelo Hugo
The remote controlled LELO HUGO is perfectly designed to offer entirely new avenues of sexual satisfaction. With 8 settings and exclusive SenseMotion technology, HUGO is all set to become the playpartner you’ve been waiting for. It’s USB-rechargeable and 100% waterproof. This expertly sized pleasure object deeply massages the prostate, while a secondary motor in the base stimulates the perineum for overwhelming stimulation.
  • Aneros Syn V
Helix Syn V produces quiet yet powerful vibration in an ultra-compact, hands-free design and can be used in two modes, powered and unpowered. Helix Syn V offers a unique experience in unpowered mode with fuller, more robust stimulation. Powered mode introduces 8 expertly tuned, preset vibration patterns at 3 levels of intensity for a total of 24 enhanced sensory experiences, utilizing a simple multifunction button control.
  • Sensuelle Homme Pro S
Here’s the rechargeable prostate massager by Sensuelle. Curved to follow the body’s natural flow, this internal massager has ten different vibration intensities and a ball massager at the tip. It has three different up and down speeds for complete pleasure!

Ah yes, the G-Spot. Otherwise known as the Grafenberg Spot, it’s located in the vagina if cisgender women one to three inches in and toward the belly button, however, can also be stimulated anally. The G-Spot enlarges with steady contact like the prostate, whether directly through the vagina or by way of the back door. Gentle come hither motions to start are best for anal pleasure and sensations only increase when coupled with buzzy or oral clitoral stimulation.

Trystology Tip:

Start with a plug! Taking in a partner’s full member, or even a dildo, can feel intense to start, so start low and slow! Plugs are designed to stay in place, and many come in super cute designs! Some vibrate, some don’t.

Either way, G-Spot, here’s the buzz on some of our favorite fillings:

  • Godebuster Medium Plug
A medium glow in the dark, vibrating, anal plug… Does it get more fun? Godebuster can be used for personal pleasure or as a gift for lovers or friends.
  • Rianne S Booty Plug Set
Rianne S allows wearers to display their booty beauty with pride! These extra sleek silicone plugs are beautifully finished with a gem-like stone. It’s the ideal training kit to further explore anal pleasure and undiscovered erogenous zones.
  • Sensuelle Mini Plug with Remote
This plug can be used solo or with a partner for lots of sexy fun. It comes with fifteen different speeds and a one year warranty!
Features also include a USB Rechargeable Bullet, USB Rechargeable Remote, it’s 100% Waterproof (submersible), and there’s a toy bag included!

Conclusion?

If you’re happy and you know it, bottoms up! Anal pleasure, when done carefully, kindly, and safely, can excite your love life while improving your health, not shaming it. Here at Trystology, we encourage you to love your tush, and all the pleasure it has to offer. Check up complete, and your rear is clear for take off!

Own It for National Orgasm Day!

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” – Lily Tomlin

Yep. Lily Tomlin. Wise gal, we think. And to celebrate National Orgasm Day, we at Trystology are here with oodles of reasons why #OYO, owning your orgasm, can support a fuller, healthier, and happier life for you and the ones you love! Or maybe just like. Or
 make those less than favorable slightly more tolerable. You decide. Read on, the satire has only just begun.

We’ve discussed it before, but for those new to the news, orgasms are great! There’s just no doubt about it. They produce a unique cocktail in the body that relieves stress, supports the immune system, and most importantly, encourages a positive self-image. 

Thing is, your orgasm belongs to YOU!

No one else feels it, experiences it, or has control of it. Certainly, partners can, and hopefully do, relish in your experience, but the nerves are yours, and we encourage everyone to have the nerve to explore themselves without shame, guilt, or fear. That said, sometimes this is easier said than done. Shame, guilt, and fear are monster emotions that can take over any occasion, private time included. Perhaps you’ve been there, and maybe you haven’t, but a busy brain can be a real buzz kill. There’s more too. The brain is EVERYONE’S primary sex organ. So, what can we do when the brain goes… a little off the rails?

The easy answer? “A little self-love goes a long way!” 

O-kay, but shut up already!

We get it! “A little self-love goes a long way, everyone!” We hear it, constantly. Everywhere. This sentiment has even fingered its way into commercials via advertising these days. But we’re not selling paper towels here, people. We’re talking about that sweet, sweet O. That horizonal hokie-pokie. That no-no in the uh-oh. That
 okay, I’m embellishing. But has our popularized advertisement of ‘self-love’ made it a farce? A sell? Some utopian fantasy that moves consumerism forward?!

Take a deep breath. Not exactly
 lets go back to basics for a sex
 I mean sec.

They key to loving yourself is knowing who the hell you are. And this doesn’t happen overnight. This happens throughout life, folks, which as every adult knows, involves suffering, not perfection. It just does. If you disagree, you’re probably young, or an ostrich. Maybe a unicorn, I’m not sure. Either way, come see me. Let’s talk, because all of us, sometimes, have a real shit day. News flash, we’re allowed to! And whereas orgasms aren’t solving world peace, (and imagining some politicians in the act absolutely horrifies most), they can relieve headaches, keep us healthier and more tolerable, intimately connect us to our partners, and remind us that some shit storms really are followed by a rainbow.

Imagine this…

Tomorrow morning, you wake up to your dream vehicle just waiting outside for a test drive. Who drives it first? Your neighbor?! I sincerely hope not. I hope you drive it, and enjoy every curve of the road, beam of the sun, and wind in your hair. Well, our bodies are just vehicle, and one more miraculous than any piece of steel out there. They’re exquisite. And before giving anyone a ride in or on these skin suits, we should know how they handle, what they like, what they need, and how to keep them humming along these backroads of life.

Here’s a hint.

If life is the road, communication is the fuel. But you can’t communicate what you don’t know to be true, especially when it comes to your body and bits.

For vagina owners, where’s your g-spot, and how do you like it stimulated. Not sure? Take that baby for a spin! It may be a longer road-trip than you expect, so pack up the lube and take it away. Some navigational advice for those who don’t have theirs mapped out, which is completely normal for women of any age, it’s one to three inches in the vagina, up towards the belly button. Steady come here motions work well here, so hydrate for the ride. Clitoral stimulation can help here too, but how does yours like to be touched? Here are some of our favorite exploratory tools to pack for the journey.

Deep in penis possession? How does your body achieve its strongest climax? If you’re not sure, have you found your prostate? If it’s flat out not your thing, that’s fine, but inviting Mr. Prostate out to play could really change your game. Just like the g-spot, it’s about three inches into the anus, and reaching it solo first could be just the secret you want to spill. How about your perineum. Know about it? It’s the patch of skin behind your testicles, and if anal play is a strict no, another road to prostate engagement. Rumbly vibes, pressure, or simple licking can do the trick! Below are the tools we find essential for the trunk.

For today, treat yourself!

In a world turned upside down, we think self-exploration, self-knowledge, and knowing your orgasm is time well spent. Truly. At the end of the day, your body is your vehicle to manifesting whatever your heart desires in this world. So today, strap on the do not disturb sign. We at Trystology won’t judge, and it can just be our little secret.

And Sexual Independence for All!

Sexual independence

Light up the grills and grab your shorts! Summer’s here, the heat is on, and Trystology’s hot monthly topic is independence. Not just any kind of independence, mind you, but sexual independence. That’s right, we at Trystology are here to celebrate YOUR journey toward sexual independence
 but how can we support something so uniquely and individually defined? Sexuality itself has infinite expressions, as does independence, and whatever pallet of hues you choose is your choice, and yours alone. What may be freeing to me might cage you, so what the hell does it mean to own your orgasm, and how can you do so confidently? When we say sexual independence, are we strictly talking about masturbation, or something bigger?

Maybe the real question is how much do you like being you?

Now, if that last question was simple for you to answer, I’m jealous and please come to the store as soon as you possibly can to spark this topic, teach a class, or just be our local guru. If you’re struggling to define what sexual independence means to you, or just how to own who you are at your core, join the club! Sexuality is a reflection of our deepest selves – the self without words or definition – and can come with a LOT of baggage in the form of shame and guilt. Luckily there’s something our sexuality is not, and that’s stagnant. Fear not, singles, I’m talking to you too. The human experience is such that we forget, like everything and everyone else around us, we are centered within a process of our own. We age, we learn, we change and grow, all while also existing within a society which only recently began to value self-care, not as an indulgence but rather as a necessity. And let’s face it, we have a long way to go. The fact is our sexuality plays a major role in overall health and wellbeing, so is it necessity, indulgence, or a little of both?

Self-Care as an Act of Rebellion!

As previously mentioned, the idea of self-care is new to the Western world. Most of us were programmed to believe that taking care of our needs last made us noble, hardworking, trustworthy, and good. Why then does breaking the rules feel so, I don’t know, great?! Side story – as a kid, I used to love when my Mom made me clean my room, but not because I actually enjoyed picking up. No, I liked the alone time. I would turn my ceiling fan on high, and throw my stuffed animals into it, only to burst into hysterical laughter when my poor, furry friends would smack the wall and thud to the floor. My mom worked from home, and needless to say, hated it. One day, she snuck up the stairs and caught me in the act of what could have only looked like “stuffie” execution. She doubled over with laughter and scared me half to death. Sure, I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do, but I was getting to know myself, my humor, and my individuality. Amidst her laughter, she explained how she took conference calls from home, and making all that noise was disruptive to her day. Bottom line, I could only throw the stuffed toys into the fan, (good call, Mom), and I couldn’t do so if she was on the phone. My fun wasn’t over, but her boundaries needed to be respected.

The B-Word…

You might say our sexuality is much more complex than a stuffed animal hitting a wall at maximum speed, and I would agree. But owning aspects of who we are, especially our sexuality, involves a little exploration, laughter, making mistakes and learning important lessons, all which help us to establish and define these reeeeeeally important things called boundaries. Readers, we can’t stress this enough. The word boundary is not a bad word. Very similar to my mother’s response, a boundary can liberate and bring smiles to more people than just ourselves. They allow us to operate with others, not for or against them in a way that excludes ourselves. They help us to establish who we are by knowing who we are not. Truth be told, owning our boundaries can pave the road to independence of any kind, and can be loving, funny, even/especially sexy.

In order to provide liberty and justice for all of our nether-bits, it’s important to remember we all share the same major sex organ – the brain. An orgasm is like any other bodily reflex. It’s an involuntary response to pleasure governed by genitals, yes, but only with permission from the mind. That’s why boundaries are so important. They support a feeling of safety, and setting them doesn’t have to suck! A sexy conversation is always a wonderful start to any intimate encounter! What do you like? What makes you feel good, and how do you like it done? If these questions are difficult to answer, explore your own unknown! Here’s a list of our favorite books and toys for him, her, or them.

Off The Shelf:

Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs
Are other people constantly intruding on your personal space, using your stuff, disrespecting you, and otherwise violating your boundaries? You can’t control what they do, but you can control how you understand and communicate your own needs and make choices about how you behave and respond to the people around you. Dive deep into self-work with this interactive guide that can be used alone or as a companion to Dr. Faith’s book Unfuck Your Boundaries. You’ll learn about how to give and get consent, how to make sure you’re stating your boundaries clearly and being understood, how to decide what is a dealbreaker, how to deal with boundaries in group settings, how to identify abuse, and how to hold yourself accountable to respecting the boundaries of others. Helpful to anyone trying to figure out healthier intimate relationships, better workplace dynamics, difficult family drama, or just how to be more confident in your own skin.
Hard is good, harder is better… for your health, your libido, your life.
Such is the provocative premise behind Dr. Steven Lamm’s The Hardness Factor, a groundbreaking book that will change the way men live and love. The Hardness Factor measures male health through the quality of an erection – perhaps the greatest male motivator for better living (more so than fear of cancer, heart attack, or stroke). The Hardness Factor asks, Can men be hard and in shape for sex their entire lives? The answer is, absolutely. Here for the first time are scientific, evidence based regimens – emphasizing nutrition, supplements, and exercise – to increase erectile quality.
Girl Sex 101 is a sex-ed book like no other, offering info for ladies and lady-lovers of all genders and identities, playful and informative illustrations on each page, and over 100 distinct voices, plus a hot narrative that shows you how to put the info to good use!
The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.
For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle, from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

The Toy Chest:

The name of Bess comes from Egyptian Goddess Bastet, who is the goddess of the home, domesticity, women’s secrets, cats, fertility, and childbirth. She protected the home from evil spirits and disease, especially diseases associated with women.
Bess fits comfortably in your hand and offers the most accurate stimulation, thanks to the innovative DirectPower technology. It concentrates on the sensitive points, with motor revolutions up to 10000 times per minute, to give the perfect orgasm experience
Zumio offers a 60-second quickie, mind-blowing multiple orgasms or hours of delicious exploration. What’s your pleasure? Searching for a way to achieve deep stimulation and precise control, Zumio designers took the circular fingertip motion, creating their revolutionary Spiro Tip Technology. The result is satisfying, whirling pulses with up to 8 levels that can be concentrated on smaller areas.
Zumio’s oscillation penetrates with a massaging effect that reaches deeper while being gentle on surface nerve-endings. The low vibration handle also won’t irritate or numb the hand during use. Alone or with a partner, this unique clitoral stimulator can provide pleasure fast or slow, tickling her pleasure zone like nothing else.
Enjoy a unique sensation like none other. An all-new internal coil makes the SPINNER twist as you insert, sending unbelievable sensations with each stroke!
The Tenga Spinner comes in 6 varieties, each with unique sensation strengths from their internal details as well as differing material firmness and tightness.
Simple and Powerful. The Man Wand Xtreme is a stimulator kit designed for men and couples. Man Wand – Xtreme has two flexible flaps on the massagers head that can hold a penis of most any size while the textured silicone optimizes the vibrations and pleasurable stimulation.
The powerful vibrations of Man Wand can be enjoyed with or without an erection and users can customize their pleasure, taking full advantage of 3 powerful speeds and 5 scintillating patterns of vibration.
This limited edition luxurious gift box offers couples an opportunity to treat each other to endless nights of passionate fun. It will turn her on and turn him up, perfect for all sexy occasions. Beautifully packaged in our silver feather box design, it contains our powerful G-Spot Bullet and our world-famous Mio. It’s an unbeatable combination and a perfect gift for all summer long.
Fun on the go and no one will know. Moxie by We-VibeÂȘ is a vibrator one wears for discreet and exciting clitoral stimulation. Small, comfortable and whisper quiet, Moxie stays in place with a magnetic clip so that a moment of pleasure wont be missed. Increase the excitement by using the app to control the fun from anywhere anytime.

Whatever you choose, knowing the choice is yours should empower and inspire the infinite zigs and zags that exist throughout this thing called life. Independence isn’t the same for all of us, neither is sexuality, but setting boundaries and knowing yourself is the way to accomplishing either on your terms, no one else’s. Here at Trystology, we wish you independence, divine sexuality, and the permission to own your life, boundaries, and as always, your orgasm! You deserve it, and your road awaits.